Competitive Writing for Amateurs
by oneofthemuses
Summary: Over at the Milady/Milord LJ community, we're having a bi-weekly fic battle. All stories must be under 500 words (or excerpted) and follow a specific prompt - here are my entries in all their glory or ignominy, depending. Prompt is identified at the start of each chapter!
1. Advanced Directorial Decision Making

The prompt: there's a knot in my chest and only you can untie me.

* * *

He's not really the type to hyperventilate or panic. When Ted told him he was being fired? Cool as a cucumber. When he met his dad after years of abandonment? A controlled burst of fury. So, no, Jeff's not the type to freak the fuck out. At least, not so anyone can see it. But here he is. Freaking the fuck out.

He rubs absent-mindedly at his chest feeling like his lungs are twisting and knotting and that's why he's struggling to breath, and continues pacing up and down.

* * *

"You have to Annie." She shoots him an exasperated glance and shakes her head.

"No, Abed, I don't. We've talked about this before, remember? We aren't a cast of characters, you can't direct our lives." He regards her calmly.

"I know that. And I wouldn't tell you to do this for no reason." He cocks his head, thoughtful, before he continues. "It worked out for me, Annie." He clutches Rachel's hand and swings it up high for Annie to see, as if his point is proven. "Rom-com tropes. The movie clichés. And it worked." She remains unmoved by his words even as they watch Jeff pause and bend at the waist as if he's about to start heaving. "Besides, someone has to do it." Annie balls her hands into fists and plants them on her hips, irritation mounting.

"That's not fair, Abed. What about Britta? Or Shirley?" Abed furrows his brow as if to say 'you really think they're options?' but she merely shrugs her shoulders in response.

"Britta and Troy just broke up. That would be insensitive. Shirley is convinced that Jeff is intimated by her sexuality." He cocks his head, eyebrows rising just for a second and sotto voice, adds, "I'm inclined to agree with her." He exchanges a look with Rachel, who nods in response, then turns back to Annie. "I have to say, Annie, I'm disappointed in you. You didn't even consider Troy or myself as options. What's that about?"

Her indignant gasp is expected.

"Abed! I just… It's not like… It's nothing, okay? I just know that Jeff… I mean, I'm _pretty_ sure Jeff is into women, but… " She glares at him, aware she's being manipulated. She glances at Rachel and receives an apologetic smile followed by an eyebrow waggle and a shooing motion. She sighs. "Fine, but I want it on the record that this isn't fair." Abed nods and shoots her the finger guns in agreement.

* * *

"Why is he freaking out again?"

"Graduation." Rachel nods sagely; it makes total sense. She leans in again.

"What romantic trope is this?"

"Could be a few but that's really beside the point. Once upon a time, I wasn't sure Annie and Jeff being together was a good thing." He watches as Annie stomps angrily toward Jeff. "I should have trusted my instincts, I'm the one that originated the idea of them after all." Seconds later, Annie takes Jeff's face in her hands and kisses him. "This puts a nice cap on their story." They watch for a few more seconds but Jeff's hands are wandering and Abed knows his work is done. His timing, as usual, is impeccable; hands still linked, he and Rachel walk off into the sunset.


	2. Tactical Training for Paintball Veterans

A/N #: Despite the title, I don't know when this takes place or why - I had a vague notion that it was some kind of future fic or an AU like The Terminator (or the Sarah Connor Chronicles? I don't know, I never actually watched that) but it could very well be paintball or zombies or something else.

The prompt: "I can't lose you, Annie."

* * *

"I can't lose you, Annie!" She turned to glare at him over her shoulder from her position crouched low behind a library shelf.

"Jeff, this is our only hope. I'm the only sharpshooter we have now that Abed's been taken. And I'm sitting here useless because they're closing in on us. If you can get me to the cafeteria, I can try to infiltrate, put the rescue mission into play… We'll have a fighting chance, Jeff. We have to take it." Her words were ground out, harsh but sincere, and Jeff closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he nodded once.

"Let's do this."

* * *

They moved silently through the halls bringing death and carnage to anyone who stood in their way.

* * *

They made it to the doors of the cafeteria and Annie shot an exhilarated smile at him. Her eyes softened for a second as she watched him survey the area for approaching enemies. Still smiling, she shook her head, squeezed his arm and prepared to execute the next step of their plan: her solo mission, potentially her suicide mission. As she turned to move away, Jeff grabbed her arm pulling her toward him.

"Annie… You don't have to do this." She regarded him calmly, attempting to keep her rising temper in check.

"We've been over this, Jeff. I have to." He sighed.

"What if you don't make it back?" It was Annie's turn to close her eyes for a brief second in time.

"I will, Jeff, and I'll bring Abed with me." He shook his head angrily.

"But what if you don't, Annie? What then?"

"Then you keep fighting. And you avenge me." She moved her hands up to cup his face. "You avenge me and all of our fallen." She pulled him down into a rough kiss, one that reeked of desperation and finality. Letting her hands fall away from his face, she ran them down his chest and smoothed his shirt where she had ruffled the material. With one last caress, she moved away, swift and silent, into the deserted room ahead.

* * *

As he fell back to the designated rendezvous point, his mind was running the strategies, discarding the useless and earmarking the ones to pursue. A small, secret part of him stayed with Annie, wondering what was going on, hoping she'd make it through. Jeff turned the corner and sped up as their safety zone came into view. Less than a minute later, he slid through the door alert and ready. Finding it empty, he secured the premise. And waited.


	3. Intro to Basic Sportsmanship for Co-Ed

The prompt: "I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy."

* * *

He let out a startled 'oof' as he fell to the ground. He'd seen the charge coming but he'd been hoping fervently that his height would give him an advantage. Clearly his trim waist was, for the first time he could recall, a disadvantage. Troy scrambled off of him quickly, eyeing Jeff as he lay there winded.

"Uh, Jeff, dude? Are you dying?" Jeff didn't dignify Troy's question with a response. A minute later, Jeff reconsidered how absurd Troy's question actually was. With his breath returning, he realized just how much the hit had hurt. Giving a pained 'guhurghguh' he dropped his head back to the ground and closed his eyes.

"Oh god, I killed him!" It was a whisper initially but Jeff could sense the rising panic even though he couldn't bring himself to care. "I know I've thought about it before but I never actually meant to do it! Abed! Abed! I did it, I killed Jeff!" Arms in the air, Troy took off running to the sidelines as the rest of the players began clearing the field.

"Troy! What are you doing? If you think you killed someone, you don't run away!" He could hear Annie's shouted words and she confirmed her presence moments later as he watched her drop to her knees beside him. His eyes slid shut in misery that was only half-faked as he made a bid for her sympathy. "Jeff!" Her hands hovered near his face for precious seconds before she seemed to come to a decision and lowered them to check him over, starting with feather-light touches at his hairline. "Are you okay?"

He slowly opened his eyes once more and managed, he hoped, a brave smile for her.

"I'm good." It came out as more of a croak. He cleared his throat and then attempted to cover it with what he assumed was a manly-sounding grunt. "Great, even. What about you?" She shook her head, a fondly exasperated smile emerging.

"That's too bad. I mean, not that I wanted you to be hurt!" Her eyes were wide as she backpedaled. "I mean, I was just kind of hoping I'd have a chance to help make you feel better." Her eyes were fixed on their bench as she murmured the words but Jeff would swear to it that he could feel her checking for his reaction from the corner of her eye. Even knowing that, he couldn't stop the faux-disinterest that meant he really _was_ interested from creeping into his expression. "Back when I lived over Dildopolis and wanted to go into healthcare, I even bought a nurse's outfit." His faux disinterest dropped away entirely as he swallowed roughly.

"Uh." The high-pitched cracking voice that emerged was not Jeff Winger's voice. He tried again. "It's possible that I've lost feeling in my lower half, I may not even be able to walk. You should probably help me." Her gaze dropped to his legs.

"I'm sure your legs work, Jeff. I can see things are… Just fine down there." He followed her eyes and realized his body had already started reacting to the proximity of a flirty Annie. Damn. A pleased grin spread across his face anyway. She stretched her hand out and he pulled himself up. They had just begun the seemingly long hobble back toward their bench when Annie cleared her throat and Jeff realized she was working up to something. But it wasn't until they finally approached Shirley that Annie actually spoke. "So, I think I should be put in."

"What?!" Jeff's exclamation was largely ignored.

"Annie, honey, are you sure? You're so tiny. Look how hard Jeff went down!"

"Shirley… I can do it. That first year at Greendale, I started getting into football because of Troy _and_ I'm taking karate _and_ I know I'm small… But," Her eyes slid conspicuously away from Jeff. "I'm young. I can do it." Jeff glared even as he conceded that Annie was right.

"Shirley, let's put her in." Annie looked up at him in surprise. "Look, I was on my high school football team. I'm no expert but sometimes, the smallest guys are the scrappiest. Besides, Annie is tough. And," He decided to point out the obvious, "We're down a player." Shirley looked thoughtful for a minute before nodding.

"Okay, Annie. You get in there and show them how a woman gets the job done!" Annie cheered excitedly then gingerly folded Jeff into a hug.

"Thanks, guys! I won't let you down!" She scrambled away, only to find Jeff following. She made it to where her helmet was resting, pausing to look at Jeff consideringly first.

"Were you really on the football team in high school?" Annie lowered her voice to ask as if it was a state secret and nudged Jeff. He nodded.

"I'm a big guy, Annie. And I wasn't half-bad. You know they had scouts at some of my games?" Annie gasped in surprise.

"Really?" He nodded. "You mean the NFL was interested in you?" He shook his head.

"Nah. I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy. Colleges were recruiting. I turned them down. Seems like an idiotic decision in retrospect." Annie stared at him, eyes wide, biting her lip.

"I don't know, I'm kind of glad you did." She leaned up and, lightning-quick, planted a kiss on his unsuspecting cheek before bounding out onto the field.

It took a few minutes in the wake of Annie's affection, and he stood frozen in place as he processed, but Jeff finally moved back to where he'd been sitting before. He sighed as he heaved himself on to the bench beside Shirley.

"I'm surprised you wanted her to go in." Shirley said it as a statement but Jeff knew there was a demand for an explanation in there.

"Well, I figure it'll get Britta up in arms and demanding to go in. Which might give us an greater advantage." He turned and met Shirley's eyes, a devious smirk already in place. She giggled gleefully right back and clapped her hands delightedly. Putting aside their mutual anticipation of the spectacle they both knew was coming, Jeff and Shirley sat back to watch the game.


	4. Introduction to Alternate Realities

The prompt: "Abed invents a device that allows users to peer into alternate realities, and the group decides to view their alternate selves. After a few minutes of fascinated viewing, the group realizes that Jeff and Annie are a romantic item in every single timeline that they've seen, even in ones where the group hasn't come together."

* * *

"It works just like a regular TV except the channels we see are alternate realities, not fictional shows." He took in the incredulous stares silently. "I expected this. Here, let me show you." He settled into his chair and turned the television on, light and noise filling the apartment.

"_You're far too robotic up there."_

"_What-" Anxious eyes focused intently on him. "What do you mean?"_

"_Just what I said. You have to loosen up. I didn't know the 'rules' or whatever but c'mon, 8 points? You can do better than that, Annie!" Her brow furrowed unsure if she was being insulted or complimented._

"_How do I 'loosen' up? Just… Take my hair down?" She laughed nervously but reached up to undo the clip. She shook her hair out, their eyes still locked on each other._

"_There are other ways to relax too." Jeff's voice softened as his face drifted slowly toward hers._

*click*

"_I'm… Sorry. About before. With the Glee Club." She looked down, embarrassed._

"_You don't have to be sorry. I mean, it was horribly, horribly wrong but… It worked." She peered up at him and allowed a small smile._

"_I guess it did. I still feel like I should make it up to you somehow."_

"_You probably should." His mock-solemnity drew another smile. "That was a traumatic experience for both of us." She nodded. "It would probably help to, uh, reframe the memories associated with that… Outfit." Her nod was slower this time._

"Change the channel, Abed." He heard the foreboding in Jeff's voice and Abed decided he'd go back to that station later.

"What exactly happened during Glee Club, Jeff?" Britta's suspicions were clearly aroused.

"Nothing!" Annie's eyes widened as everyone's attention shifted to her. "I mean, really, nothing happened." Nobody seemed to notice her two fingers crossed behind her back. "Why don't we just keep going?" There were grudging nods all around.

"We must be stuck in a Jeff/Annie block of channels. I'll enter a random number."

*click*

_She got out of her car and kicked her tire. He raised an eyebrow from his position leaning against his Lexus, playing with his phone. _

"_Excuse me, miss?" He waited for her to look up before he pushed off his Lexus and moved toward her. "Do you need some help?" She bit her lip and he found it oddly endearing._

"_My car won't start." She looked at him and kicked at her tire again. "I have to get to class." He nodded in sympathy._

"_Where do you go?" She looked at him appraisingly before giving a quick nod._

"_I'm a student at Greendale. The community college by-" He cut her off with a raise of his hand and his own nod._

"_Yeah, I know the place. Unfortunately. Tell you what, I was supposed to pick up a colleague from his NA meeting but they haven't showed. Greendale is on my way to work. I can give you a ride, if you want, Miss..?"_

"_Annie Edison, and you are?"_

"_Jeff Winger."_

"I'm confused. Why is it still about Jeff and Annie?" Abed considered the question seriously.

"Jeff's our leading man. The main character. It makes sense that the first few minutes whenever we tune in tells us what he's up to." Shirley nodded, mouth pursed unhappily, as if Abed's words made total sense.

"And why is Annie always with Jeff, hmm?" Shirley's voice was even. Abed glanced at Jeff, then Annie, before he focused on Shirley once more.

"I can't answer that, Shirley. There could be any number of reasons. My guess? Annie and Jeff are intertwined in most realities. I couldn't tell you _why_ but it's a reasonable hypothesis given their relationship and chemistry in this timeline."

"Abed. That's enough." Abed's eyes widened briefly; Jeff was verging on stern.

* * *

Somehow, Abed was unsurprised to find Jeff and Annie asleep together in Troy's recliner, the blue glow of the TV screen showing another world's Jeff and Annie similarly asleep, two young children cuddled between them, and a bassinet within arms reach.


	5. Introduction to Daydream Analysis

**A/N:** I have to admit, I wasn't really happy with this entry, which was posted only up to the end of Annie's first section. But even the full thing was me trying a different style/genre which I just don't think fits. Still, feedback is welcome.

The prompt: "My prompt is Voltaire's quote: 'Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.'"

* * *

He's twenty feet off when he first spots her. He keeps his eyes on his phone to maintain plausible deniability but really, he watches her as he gets closer. He's about ten feet away when _she_ spots him and smiles widely, face eager and welcoming. He smiles back, not even aware of it, and hastens his steps.

It's maybe ten seconds before he reaches her but his mind has already saved that smile and filed it away. Because in that smile? He sees a future where Annie works late one night at the Denver crime lab and comes home to find him asleep on the couch, their son resting peacefully on his chest. In that smile, he sees a future where Annie wakes him and smiles, despite being tired, and he thanks _something_ for helping him find a law firm that was flexible enough to let him work from home some days. In that smile, he sees a future that has enough happiness and love to outweigh the fear and pain.

* * *

She sees him coming when he's twenty or so feet away. She schools her reaction because, you know, _god forbid_ she looks too delighted and comes off as immature and in love. She can't help but scoff indignantly to herself, still insulted and stung despite the passing of time. He's staring at his phone like it's his life so she figures she's safe anyway but just in case, she only lets the smile bloom across her face when he's ten feet from her.

She decides it was the right move when he smiles back and she savours the genuine grin he's displaying, just for her. She holds it close to her heart, tucked away. She can't help it, really. In that grin, she sees a future where Jeff is a lawyer again and yet, he still breaks more than a light sweat for her. In that grin, she sees a future where they're moving into a house because a condo just isn't big enough for his law books and her forensics materials and the baby. In that grin, she the future where they waited a long time, and they struggled, but they made a conscious choice to be together and to be happy.

* * *

He doesn't think about it when she slides into the booth beside him but he'd be lying if he said his shoulders didn't suddenly relax even as his gut tensed in anticipation. He continues his conversation with Shirley without missing a beat but he's hyper-aware of her presence to his right anyway. He can only hope it's not particularly noticeable when he shifts slowly infinitesimally closer to her when Pierce pushes in on his left. Pierce jostles him and he abandons the subtle approach.

Annie doesn't offer any extra space, engrossed in her own conversation, until his arm and torso are pressed against her and his hand is at her waist, gently nudging her over. She glances at him, takes in the situation, and they share a mutually understanding look of exasperation as she slides over. They're sitting in much tighter quarters than they were moments ago but he goes back to his discussion of Mad Men without complaint.

He doesn't mind, after all, and he makes a mental note somewhere in the back of his mind of the sensation and feeling. He'll likely never admit it but the warm weight pressed against his right side will lend new accuracy to the daydreams of Annie lying next to him in bed, asleep and wrapped around him, the scent he's learned is unique to her enveloping him. New details about her sitting beside him on purpose, rather than by accident, because it's expected when you're dating someone are suddenly filled in; the gentle movement of her ribcage as she breathes, the whisper of skin and hair against him as she gestures and shifts;. His arm stretched out across the back of the booth is something he's especially aware of as she leans back, her lunch tray pushed away. The idea of his arm around her casually, conspicuously, is there, germinating in his sub-consciousness, and the smile that crosses his face has never felt more natural even if he doesn't know why.

* * *

She slides into the booth beside him because there's really nowhere else to sit. Shirley, Troy and Abed are already on one side of the booth and Britta and Pierce are headed for the same seat - Britta is already looking for a chair to borrow because Pierce is like a cranky toddler when there's an open seat beside Jeff and he doesn't get it - so it's this or nothing. She leaves some room between them, not wanting to invade his personal space, and settles in already getting caught up in the discussion about the relative moral villainy of The Sergeant versus Thoraxis. She feels, rather than sees, Jeff shift toward her but she forces herself to ignore it because really, she left a fair bit of room between them and despite his best efforts, Jeff still struggles with how he feels about Pierce.

When he touches her waist, she realizes that somewhere between her passionate defence of Thoraxis and listening to Abed's thoughts on The Sergeant's troubled life, Jeff has ended up pressed up against her. She's not sure how she missed that except to say that it felt natural and comfortable and _normal_. She shares an exasperated look with him because she knows it's Pierce's fault and moves over to give him some space. She can't really go far, though, and they're still pressed together.

She can't bring herself to mind. She catalogues Jeff's every movement, the shift of muscle against her shoulder, the way he radiates heat, the subtle scent of expensive cologne even though her attention remains firmly on Abed and Troy. It's not as if she's doing it on purpose but the shading on those apparently-abandoned daydreams is suddenly vivid; cuddling on the couch as Jeff watches period dramas and live-tweets them and she does pre-reading for a course, luxuriating in expensive sheets that smell like Jeff even in his absence, wrapped in his arms as they dance. All of this percolates well below the surface where she''s shoved her "feelings" for Jeff and she'll swear her flushed cheeks and soft smile are a consequence of Abed conceding that Thoraxis is a morally and ethically complicated character because what else could it be?


	6. Revisionist History 101

The prompt: "Since it's been a bad season for our ship, my prompt is to take a moment from any episode this season and re-write it as Jeff/Annie, or add a J/A scene to any episode."

* * *

He wasn't 100% certain how he'd known where they would be but he figured now wasn't the time to look a gift horse in the mouth. He paused for a moment, huffing, before he thrust the ball at her.

"Here. I want you to have this. As proof that I'm willing to do what it takes. But only if you're with me." She stared back, unmoved, ignoring his offering. "C'mon, Annie, please. I need your help here." Her hand hovered halfway to his but she still didn't reach out to take the ball. "There's just one condition." Her hand dropped to her side and she drew back, surprised outrage spreading across her face.

"What? Now you're making demands of me?" He sighed, moving in a step closer, all but forgetting that Shirley was standing quietly in the corner.

"I can't do it without you, Annie. So I want you to take this ball as a promise that I'm New Jeff... But if I'm going to go back out there and win seven balls, I need something to fight for." Her smile quirked downward in confusion.

"Like..." She stared at him, a delighted sort of wonder slowly creeping in. "A token?" His eyes widened. That hadn't been exactly what he was driving at but he figured it would be a good alternative given Shirley's presence.

"A token of your favour."

"I don't really have anything to give you." Her words were soft but there was a full smile in bloom. He shrugged at her, equally enthused. "I suppose I could... Maybe give you my cardigan?" Annie seemed unsure and waited for his response. Jeff merely looked back, stretching out a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Oh, just kiss him already. You two and your damn googly eyes." Shirley pushed past them both, throwing up her arms in irritation. "I'll be at the Dean's car when you're done, Annie." Jeff watched her expression carefully but didn't see anything change. Instead, Annie bit her lip, drew back slightly, and pulled out her lipgloss. He raised an eyebrow.

"When you carry a token into battle, it doesn't have to be visible, but..." She smiled then stretched up on to her tiptoes, hands framing his face, and kissed him. It seemed like an eternity had passed when she drew back. "You can go fight for our rightful place in History now..." He nodded, still dazed. They separated and he turned to leave before thinking better of it. He spun back, and drew her up against him until her feet barely touched the floor, and kissed her with all he had.

"If my future is uncertain, seems like the least I deserve is a proper kiss." She slid down the length of him, feet slowly finding solid ground. One hand clutched the red ball, the other lingered at her lips. He took one last look at her before he inclined his head. "Milady." With that, he turned and left.

The soft 'Milord' floated down the hallway after him.


	7. Feminist Icons in Dance, A Case Study

**Disclaimer**:I own nothing you recognize.

The prompt: "Since it's been a bad season for our ship, my prompt is to take a moment from any episode this season and re-write it as Jeff/Annie, or add a J/A scene to any episode."

* * *

Somehow, Britta hadn't Britta'd being Britta. He stood frozen in horror as Sophie B. Hawkins slowly began to croon "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover." Shaking himself out of his reverie, he shuffled backwards, wanting to escape any attention. He heard a pained squeak a second later and he turned to see that he'd bumped into Annie.

"Shit, sorry, are you okay?" She brushed at her dress and nodded then turned to stare at him in confusion.

"What're you doing?" He sighed.

"I just... I can't believe Britta pulled this off. I mean, it's Britta." Annie rolled her eyes.

"Look, I know that Britta can be... _Britta_ but you've been kind of a jerk today, Jeff. Just... Go apologize or something and then enjoy the dance. Britta did a _really_ good job." He cocked his head thoughtfully and just watched her. A minute or so of comfortable silence, as they stared at each other, passed before Annie huffed. "Don't be a jerk anymore, Jeff, that's the old you, remember?" Her voice stayed low but he heard her despite the music.

He smirked and stepped closer. He pulled out his phone, tapping out a text message and then took Annie's hand, twirling her. She went willingly and seconds later, as she faced him again, he was prepared for her question when it came.

"What're you doing?"

"I sent her a text, I apologized... Now I'm enjoying the dance." She stared up at him, their hands still joined, surprised but pleased. "You were the one who told me to." He shrugged, pulling her closer. "You know, I had a dream that was really very similar to the themes of this song..."

_For me there is no other_

_You're the only shoe that fits_

_I can't imagine I'll grow out of it_

_Damn I wish I was your lover._

Britta glanced around, searching for Jeff. A grin stretched across her face as she took in the picture of Jeff "I'm Too Sexy" Winger dancing at _her_ Sophie B. Hawkins dance with a laughing Annie. Clearly, he was having fun which meant this dance was a success! She looked down at her phone again, re-reading his text message. She was just starting to type a reply when Troy grabbed her hand. She looked up at him and her smile softened into something else. She would crow about this later, she decided, right now, she was at a dance with her friends.


	8. Detectivising 101

The prompt: "'I found this when I was cleaning out my locker.' Take that where you will!"

* * *

"I found this when I was cleaning out my locker." Brad took the photo that Jenny was holding out to him and looked it over. His eyes widened and he gave a low whistle of appreciation. "_Yeah, I know._" Jenny's tone was only slightly smug.

"Those are some seriously good looking people doing some seriously hot kissing. Who are they?" Jenny shook her head then shrugged.

"No clue. Do you think it's, like, a promotional picture for Greendale? That guy looks familiar. I swear I've seen him on posters or something. And I know I've seen that woman."

"Looks like we have a mystery on our hands. And I know that look on your face. You've already decided that we're going to solve it." Jenny smiled. "Where do we start?" She barely heard Brad's sigh she was so used to his lacklustre sense of adventure.

"I've been thinking about it all day..." She tapped the photo in Brad's hand. "I'm pretty sure I saw her picture in the Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror offices." She ignored the look on Brad's face at the sound of the school newspaper's name and continued. "So like any good student, we're going to do some research!"

* * *

An hour later, they were no closer to their answer. But that was also about the time that fortune smiled upon them.

"Dean Pelton!" The man spun on his heel to face them, a wide smile spread across his face.

"Students, hi! How can I help you?" He leaned in, bringing a hand up as if to shield his words from prying eyes, and whispered, "Please do bear in mind, that offer comes with some limitations because my skillset is actually pretty narrow." Both Jenny and Brad merely nodded, shrugging the confusion off.

"I found this picture... I wanted to know the story behind it." Jenny held out the photo, a corner bent and another edge curling up. The Dean's hand immediately flew to his mouth and his eyes went misty.

"Oh. _Oh_." His tone was a little sad but he sniffed and squared his shoulders. "One of my greatest joys and one of my greatest heartbreaks..." Brad raised an eyebrow in surprise. "That's Jeff Winger and Annie Edison at our 2009 Championship Debate competition. It was... An award-winning kiss." Jenny's gasp was quiet but clearly audible. "It won them the competition."

"What happened to them?" The dean took his eyes off the photo and met Jenny's interested gaze.

"Hmm? Oh, well, Jeff and I are roommates now. Well, we live _next door_ to each other. It's basically the same thing!" He leaned in closer and, with a confiding smile, offered, "We'd be roomies for sure if it wasn't for his girlfriend. She has roommates, you know, and Jeff's apartment is the only place she gets any privacy. But I know he enjoys my company." Brad fought to keep his face expressionless. "Anyway, if you want to know more... Search the Gazette Mirror Journal's database - they're two of our most famous students, Luis Guzman notwithstanding." He smiled again and turned to leave.

"Wait! Dean Pelton..." He stopped and looked over his shoulder at Jenny. "What happened to Annie?" The dean turned in full and shook his head as if he'd been silly in forgetting to mention her.

"Oh! My manners, where are they? She's the cute little hussy Jeff is dating!" He performed a strange cheering gesture, fists shaking in the air and a bright smile on his face that rang only slightly false, before he startled to sniffle. He spun around and left quickly, unaware and unconcerned about the questions left in his wake.


	9. Friendship for Beginners

The prompt: "Jeff & Annie have done something to annoy another member of the study group."

* * *

Britta eyed Pierce in concern, unsure what to do about the low growling noise he was making. She watched him for a minute before taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. She could do this. She was _gonna_ do this.

"Um, Pierce… Why are you growling?"

"Huh? What? Oh, blondie. I'm irritated." She nodded uncertainly.

"Okay. Why? Maybe I can help." He turned to look at her then, taking in her surprisingly genuine expression, and decided it couldn't hurt to throw her a bone. He snickered to himself before he remembered why he was upset.

"Jeff." He spit the name out with all the venom he could muster. He was slightly disappointed to realize it wasn't much. "He and Annie have been…" He trailed off, trying to think of a way to put it that wouldn't induce dry heaves. "Spending time together. Annie's my favourite." He winced, realizing Britta might be offended, but she waved it off. "But I hate Jeff Winger!" That garnered a reaction.

"Seriously, Pierce? I thought you guys buried the hatchet or whatever after the whole axe incident!" He sighed at her.

"We did. Sort of. But he's still an ass. And I know him. I was him! He's not good enough for Annie." He caught her eye and nodded his chin toward her. "He's not good enough for you either. Not yet." Britta smiled and moved to stand beside him, staring out the window at the scene outside.

"Pierce… Jeff is an ass. But he's not so bad when he's with Annie. And we _all_ had a hand in that. I get that them… Spending time together is irritating but they're good for each other. It's weird. Jeff studies and Annie loosens up and they're both too busy to get caught up in Troy and Abed's schemes. It's good." They both watched silently as Jeff pulled Annie's books out of her arms to carry them across the quad.

"I still don't like it." She patted his shoulder.

"You don't have to."

"What about you?"

"Me? I don't have a horse in this race." He raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I wasn't really happy about it at first. But… They're happy, you know? Jeff and I were never like that. And Troy… I don't know. But I'm okay with it." He put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed.

"You'll make a good therapist, Brittles. When you relax that stick up your butt." There was another eye roll in response but she stayed silent otherwise.

They stayed like that, quiet and contemplative, as Jeff's free hand tentatively reached out to hold Annie's and the two were out of sight.


	10. Negotiating WRoommates & Guest Etiqutte

**A/N:** Honestly, it's been done before but I can't help it, this is what popped into my head.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize, including plots and ideas.

The prompt: "Jeff & Annie have done something to annoy another member of the study group."

* * *

Troy hates Jeff just a little bit right now. Like, really, really hates him. Because they're both in the bathroom, there's only one condom and it looks like Jeff is winning.

"But I bought these!"

"Irrelevant, Troy, since you bought them to replace the one's that Annie bought." Jeff looks just smug enough that Troy is tempted to grab the condom and run. He's pretty fast and his door has a lock on it ever since that unfortunate incident where Annie walked in on him and one of his A/C Repair School groupies.

"Jeff, man, you and Annie do it all the time. Literally, I heard you two going at it this morning!"

"Just because Annie and I have a healthy sex life, it doesn't mean you get to have the condom. You and Britta were doing it way before we started dating."

"But we broke up so we're new to having sex with each other again. It's important. And why does Annie keep condoms in the bathroom, anyway? Unless she _wants_ to share!" Jeff rolled his eyes.

"She keeps them in here because she knows you're too embarrassed to buy them and she worries that Abed will forget and she thinks she has to take care of the two of you." Jeff glared at him and Troy couldn't help the twinge of guilt.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Jeff eyed him for a moment.

"No Spock or ninjas or anything?" Troy shook his head. "Okay." They geared up and seconds later, it was official, Troy was not having sex that night.

"Better luck next time." A pat on the back and Jeff was gone. Troy groaned as he realized he'd be heading back to bed, frustrated and having to explain to Britta. Most of the time being Annie's roommate was awesome. Other days, today in particular, it sucked.


	11. Negotiating WRoommates, Alternate

The prompt: "Jeff & Annie have done something to annoy another member of the study group."

* * *

Britta slid into the bathroom, just barely avoiding crashing into the countertop as she spotted Annie, already there. The brunette looked up at her, a distracted smile gracing her face before she turned back to the drawer she was digging through.

"Oh, hi."

"Hey, Britta, did you need something?" Britta bit her lip and contemplated how weird it would be to divulge what she was there for. Finally, rolling her eyes at her own worries, she decided to just go for it.

"I need a condom. What are you looking for?" Annie looked up at her in surprise and blushed even as she smiled.

"The same." She had lowered her voice to a confiding whisper but continued in a regular tone. "I swear they were in here, but…" It was Britta's turn to blush.

"Uh, yeah, they're in the second drawer. Troy and I moved them when Abed was being weird." Annie nodded in understanding and moved her search down. She fumbled the drawer open in her haste and grabbed the box inside that they were both looking for, holding it aloft triumphantly. Her expression deflated slightly as she realized there was only one condom in there.

"Shit." Annie nodded in agreement with Britta's sentiment. They were both thrown for a moment when Jeff appeared at the door of Annie's room, his shirt open and his pants undone.

"Annie?" She smiled at him, hoping her irritation was well-concealed, and tried to think of a way to deter him for a minute.

"Give us a minute, we're just trying to decide something." His brow furrowed but he nodded as they slowly closed the door.

"Jeff told me he loved me." Britta's eyes widened as she gasped and wrapped her arms around Annie.

"Aww, Annie!" Her smile turned down slightly as she realized why Annie wanted the condom. "Troy and I just got back together…" Annie stared at her, eyes growing slightly wet. Britta narrowed her own. "Quit it, Edison." Annie eyes appeared to magically dry up and she sniffed in offense.

"Well. I guess we have a problem."

"Look, I will do your laundry. For a month." Annie rolled her eyes in response.

"Britta, you don't even do your own laundry."

"Okay, I'll clean your apartment? For two months, even!" Annie looked skeptical.

"Tell you what, if you can tell me where I keep the cleaning supplies, and I don't mean the dish soap or the laundry detergent, I'll give you the condom." Britta considered the question and desperately hoped her uncertainty didn't show. Closing her eyes as she came to grips with her lack of knowledge, she shook her head.

"Damn it!" Annie crowed in success. Britta huffed. "Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"Okay… But no ninjas or Kickpunchers. And no time jumps!" Britta looked at her, aghast, at her outburst. "Sorry. Troy and Abed." Britta's expression smoothed, knowing exactly what Annie meant.

"Just the usual." Eyeing her consideringly, Annie nodded. "Alright. One. Two. Three." Their fists flew and just like that, Britta saw her chances die. Her scissors were beat by Annie's rock. She groaned. "Fine. Go have sex."

"Thank you!" Annie smiled winningly and sailed out the door.

And that was where they were greeted by the sight of Jeff and Troy arguing.

"No, no, you've got it all wrong! Spiderman would definitely beat any of the Avengers in a one-on-one fight."

"No way, man! I love Spiderman but let's be real, Thor would kill him. Plus, Black Widow is a redhead and Spidey has a weakness for redheads." Jeff's head wavered from side to side considering.

"Yeah, but who doesn't? He's devoted to Mary Jane so it's moot anyway." Troy looked unsure.

"I still think Thor could kill him. I mean, he's the God of Thunder, Jeff. He controls lightning. And he has a giant hammer. That's bad ass. Spiderman has webs and he comes from spiders which are scary because they have all those legs?" He looked at Jeff there, as if awaiting confirmation, before he continued. "But I don't think it's enough." Annie decided that was an opportune time to interrupt.

"Jeff, sweetie?" He looked up at her and smiled in anticipation. "C'mon…" Grabbing his hand, she waved to Troy and led Jeff to her room, closing the door firmly behind her. A minute later, frantic eleventh hour search called, Britta wandered out of the bathroom to find Troy waiting there. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Sorry," She patted his chest as she kept walking toward his room. "They're having sex tonight. We can do it tomorrow." He frowned even as he followed her.

"Wait, what?"


	12. Intermediate Intro to Graphic Lit-A

**A/N:** This has mentions of Happy Endings and Don't Trust the B because there was a whole thing with the prompt post/comments.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize.

The prompt: Annie starts dating a superhero and Jeff reaches new levels of jealousy."

* * *

"Who is that?" Jeff valiantly attempted to keep his thinly-veiled disgust in check but he was pretty sure it wasn't working.

"Annie's new boyfriend. Well, I think they're dating. She seems to sleep over at his place a lot." Abed turned as he felt Troy tugging at his sleeve and raised his eyebrow in question.

"Uh, Abed? Annie made us promise not to tell? Remember?"

"I remember. But now that Chase is here, it doesn't really seem necessary. Besides, Jeff is clearly freaking out. I wasn't allowed to include it in my documentary about Pierce but spoiler alert, it's the best part."

"So you two bozos were aware that Annie was dating a potential psychopath and you did nothing?" It was a fight to keep his voice level but Jeff just barely managed it.

"Hey! We met Chase and he was very nice. He bought us stuff." Jeff listened to Troy's objection and then glared at him before he switched his attention back to Abed.

"Annie was very emphatic that we were not allowed to say anything." He cocked his head. "He actually fits the profile of superhero more than a psychopath." He started ticking points off on his fingers. "He disappears at a moment's notice. Money is no object. He's very physically fit. He's inhumanly attractive. He looks good in spandex. And that one time he slept over, I heard Annie say something about his mouth being magic." Taking in Britta's wide eyes, he clarified. "It probably referred to his sexual prowess but I had to consider that maybe it was his hidden super power."

"You two are horrible roommates! What if he's got Annie under some kind of sexual spell and he's planning to sacrifice her to his gods!" Abed considered the question carefully.

"Unlikely. If Chase isn't a superhero, I'd bet he's a spy." Troy nodded in agreement. "Besides, it's a lot harder to seduce Annie these days. She doesn't react to my Don Draper impression anymore. It probably has to do with all those guys she 'dated' last summer."

"Yeah, remember that guy she hooked up with in New York who looked exactly like James Van Der Beek?" Abed frowned.

"That _was_ James Van Der Beek. He gave us each a pair of signed Beek Jeans." Troy smiled fondly.

"Yeah... He did."

"I can't believe how useless the two of you are. Being Annie's roommate means taking care of her, including protecting her from herself and from bad decisions!" Troy shook his head.

"Jeff, man, get over it. Annie's an adult. She's hot. She makes better decisions than we do." He considered that for a moment, recalling Batman and their still-fearful landlord. "Most of the time. But she's old enough to make her own mistakes. And now she's dating a superhero. Which is awesome." The argument was cut short as Annie approached, her 'boyfriend' following eagerly after her.

"Guys! I want to introduce you to Chase! Chase, this is my study group. My _friends_." Annie stood there, boyfriend in tow, and the rage Jeff felt slowly mounted. And that settled it right there. Jeff would ruin him. Ruin him!


	13. Intermediate Intro to Graphic Lit-B

The prompt: "Annie starts dating a superhero and Jeff reaches new levels of jealousy."

* * *

He's not sure what he just saw but whatever it was, it's not something he's likely to forget.

* * *

He's walking down the hallway when the back of his neck prickles. He looks around but only sees a tall blonde guy at his locker. Jeff dismisses the strange feeling churning in his gut and continues to his class. He's got better things to think about.

* * *

He's sitting in No Bake Baking! when his mind jumps against his will to the scene he witnessed last week; a man dressed entirely in grey and black, hood pulled up, had thwarted Leonard's efforts to steal the last burrito from the vending machine. It wouldn't have been a big deal but Jeff had fallen asleep watching the same masked man stop a bank robbery in Denver on the news the night before.

* * *

His heart just about stops when he rounds the corner to Annie's locker and has to watch as she kisses the blonde guy he recognizes from a few days before. It seems clear, all of a sudden, why his stomach had clenched and his hair had stood on end. He'd known, _known_, something was off about him. He just hadn't known what. He abruptly switches direction even as he resolves to find out what exactly it is about that guy that makes him feel so dirty.

* * *

He stalks him as stealthily as he can but it's harder than it looks. The guy is a fucking ninja because he's there one minute and gone the next. Jeff is forced to contemplate maybe cashing in some favours and calling in the experts but he's not prepared to go that far. _Yet_.

Ten minutes later, the idea is moot because the expert pops up beside him in the bush where Jeff is hiding.

"I have a theory. I think he's a superhero." Jeff glares at him but it doesn't seem to faze Abed. "Okay, I'll try again. It's come to my attention that you're stalking Oliver Harrison. Why?" Jeff glared some more.

"I'm not stalking him." An eyebrow lifted and he recanted. "Okay, so I am stalking him. But only because there's… Something off." Abed nodded.

"I agree. I suspect you're more upset that he's dating Annie but for the purpose of this adventure , I'll accept your story. I'm willing to help." Jeff stared, slightly bewildered, before giving a short nod. "Here's what we have to do."

* * *

He felt like an idiot but that was nothing new to him after all that time at Greendale. Still, standing in the quad, covered in a fine white film, and whacking at a tree with a dull axe was not the way he'd intended his Wednesday afternoon to go. Not again anyway.

It took five minutes for the Grey Guardsman to show. It took a further five minutes for Jeff to catch a close up glimpse of his face. It took less than five seconds before he'd knocked out for Jeff to admit that Abed was right.

Annie's new beau, Oliver Harrison, was a superhero.


	14. Intermediate Studies in Horror Auteurs

The prompt: "Well. What I'd really like to see is: Jeff dealing with the fallout of (or being directly involved in) shenanigans, preferably of the AnTroBed variety."

* * *

All he had wanted was his jacket that he'd left there the night before. But of course, when did what he wanted ever matter? Instead, Jeff had approached apartment 303 only to find the door ajar. He had hesitated, unsure if he was about to walk in on something private or if he would end up being the creepy guy that hung around his friends' empty apartment. But really, was that even _possible_ with this group? He shook his head and checked himself, moving firmly toward the door. When he pushed it open, he stopped short and his eyes lit on the most obvious thing:

A pool of red on the floor.

The obvious answer was that something had spilled. Jeff repeated that mantra over and over in his head. It was harder to believe when he noticed that there was a dark and dried red stain across the table edge. The window was open. There was a broken vase near it. Jeff took in all the little details and forced himself, through sheer will, not to hyperventilate.

"Fucking hell." The words slipped past his lips in a horrified whisper. "Annie!" His voice echoed in the still apartment. "Annie!" Getting no response yet again, Jeff decided to try a different tack. "Abed! Troy!" The apartment remained quiet but Jeff swore he'd heard a squeak. "Fuck. I have to call 911. Jesus Christ... What... Fuck." He couldn't quite put together a coherent sentence but he figured this would have to be enough for now. He was about to dial, unsure if he would even be able to hear the operator over the tinny roar of blood in his ears.

"Wait, Jeff, don't call the police." Startled, he nearly dropped his phone. Standing across the room, at the door to Troy's bedroom, was Abed. Immediately, he realized this wasn't entirely as it looked, so Jeff settled for glaring as he attempted to bring his heart rate somewhere along the lines of 'normal' and keep his anger in check.

"What the hell, Abed?" The question was ground out and he was gratified to see that Abed winced. He hoped it was in fear.

"I suppose this does require an explanation. Okay. So we're attempting a low-budget horror/thriller for my next film project. Annie agreed to help. We wanted to gauge how realistic it was so we set up the scene and decided to let someone discover it - we've been taping your reaction." Breathing deeply, Jeff could feel his nostrils flaring as he listened to Abed's explanation. It was a fairly cruel thing to do to an unsuspecting friend. He was sort of surprised that Annie would go along with it despite her unexpectedly macabre sense of horror.

"I can't believe you said my name last!" Troy's voice floated out past the bedroom door, accompanied by a grunted 'oof' seconds later. Jeff frowned.

"Speaking of Annie, where is she?" Abed's face smoothed out to such a degree that Jeff's hackles rose. "Abed. Where. Is. She?"

"Annie is currently unavailable." Stepping closer, moving carefully around the staged scene, Jeff did his best to intimidate Abed. It turned out to be mostly unnecessary because seconds later, Troy squawked.

"Abed! Help! She got free and I don't feel safe the way she's looking at me. I think she's going to eat meeeeeeeeeeee!" Jeff couldn't be entirely certain but he was 99% sure Troy was crying. He manhandled Abed to the side and entered Troy's room in time to see Annie flip Troy over with her legs, completely disregarding the fact that she was wear a flimsy skirt, and then climb on top of his back, holding him down by applying pressure to his neck. His arms and legs flailed but she ignored it as she worked the gag out of her mouth.

"Holy shit, Annie." She turned to look at him. "Are you okay?" She gave him a brief nod. He shook his head to try banishing the memory of so much of her bare skin from his mind. It didn't really work but he managed to set it aside for the moment anyway.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But these two," She jerked a thumb at Troy then Abed. "Are going to be in serious trouble for the foreseeable future." Jeff nodded in understanding.

"What exactly happened here?" She sighed.

"I agreed to help Abed with his movie, like he said, so we set up the scene and then he told me that for added authenticity, to properly see how audiences would react, we needed to see genuine horror and fear. Meaning they needed someone to believe the scene really happened. They tied me up when I protested. And they gagged me." She paused there and gave Troy a noogie as he wailed below her. "And then set up the cameras. As soon as you entered the apartment, Troy sat on me!" Jeff could see her knees tighten on Troy's ribs and he heard the nearly silent 'ack!' that Troy let escape. "I'm not very happy with them." He pursed his lips, considering the situation.

"Did they hurt you?" She shook her head slowly. "How long were you… Tied up for?"

"What time is it?" He checked his watch.

"About 5:45PM."

"It was maybe 30 minutes." She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Did they know you were coming?" Jeff nodded

"I mean, I mentioned I was going to try dropping by today around 5 or 6. I said I would text Abed if I couldn't make it." Annie frowned.

"I can't believe they did this." Jeff nodded in agreement and stretched his arm out, his palm open in a non-threatening manner.

"I know. They're jerks. I mean, how'd they know I'd even react?" Annie rolled her eyes and stared at him skeptically. He shifted uncomfortably. "Okay, so maybe they had an idea. How about you let Troy go, though?" She looked down at her roommate whose back she was currently sitting on and nodded grudgingly. Jeff extended his hand to her and she took it as she gingerly stood and stretched.

She turned and stared at Troy who lay on her bed, peering at her fearfully. She pointed a finger and took a deep breath.

"You. You are in deep trouble, mister. I am going to leave this apartment and cool off and the two of you are going to clean this place up and make a sincere apology to me. And Jeff! And then we are going to sit down and have a talk." She shook her head in disbelief. "I'm really disappointed in the two of you. Now, I don't know where Abed has disappeared to, but you find him, and you explain to him what I just said. Understood?" Troy had the decency to look properly chastised and gave a quiet nod. "Good." She grabbed a jacket and flounced out of her room.

Jeff stared after her for a minute before he realized she was about to leave and hurried to catch up.

"Seems like we've both had a pretty traumatic day thanks to those two goons." She sighed and nodded, leaning against him as they waited for the elevator. He tucked his arm around her waist and stared at the top of his head, considering his words carefully. "How about I buy you some ice cream? Might help you 'cool' off." She snorted and turned her head into the groove of his arm before eyeing him from beneath lowered lashes.

"I need to eat dinner first. I already skipped lunch today." He frowned at her, a question on his lips, before she cut him off. "I had an assignment due. We have groceries, Jeff, don't worry." Her eye roll was accompanied by a gentle smile so he was partially mollified.

"I worry about you. It's not normal to ignore necessities like, you know, eating for studying, Annie. You don't see any other mammals doing that, do you?" She punched him weakly.

"You're such a dork."

"Doesn't that mean whale penis?"

"Just buy me dinner, okay, Jeff? Leave the witty remarks to people like Ryan Seacrest who get paid for it." His jaw dropped in offense.

"I should make you eat at that vegan place Britta loves just for that."

"You hate that place, not me." He frowned.

"Damn." The elevator dinged and a second later, the doors slid open and the two entered, his arm still curled gently around her waist.


	15. Round Robin Storytelling 4 Adv Beginners

The prompt: **"'A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies.' **-from the song "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by REM. I'd like to see a bit of drama this round!"

A/N: I realize that if it were a proper round-robin, after Shirley talks to Annie, she would talk to Jeff but I needed a transition piece so, you know, artistic license!

* * *

"Annie, I just… I want to be with you but I can't do this anymore. Not right now." There's a lie in there somewhere but he'll be damned if he tells her, admits to himself, which one it is.

And just like that, they're over.

* * *

"It wasn't easy. I was really hurt, you know? But I'm an adult and he's an adult and… He was honest. I'm not saying I'm 100% over it but, I'm okay, Britta. _Really._" She's mostly telling the truth so she doesn't feel so bad but Annie still releases an inaudible sigh of relief when Britta nods and smiles.

* * *

"Guys, she's _fine_! I mean, mostly." Britta studied the two men in front of her before heaving a sigh and continuing. "I know you're worried but I talked to Annie. She's not happy with the situation, obviously, but she told me she was doing okay. I believed her." Britta nearly swallows her tongue as she hears the words slipping out. It's not like she wants to lie but sometimes, it's necessary. Troy and Abed just look so damn forlorn.

* * *

"What do you expect me to do?" Shirley throws her hands up in exasperation, waiting impatiently for a good reason to get involved but she'd promised Jeff. She had promised.

"We just want you to talk to Jeff. And Annie. Separately. You're friends with both of them, right?" Shirley nods and so do they. "You're really good at making people feel better, Shirley. They both say they're fine but…" They shrug in unison. "We'd feel better if you talked to both of them." Shirley watches them with a soft smile before nodding gently and agreeing to do as they ask.

"Thanks, Shirley." Abed's words float to her as Troy hugs her and she swears the two of them are becoming one person. The idea makes her smile rather than cringe. She doesn't see the secret smile they share as they leave her little office.

Vague manipulations aren't really lying after all and they're doing it for a good cause anyway.

* * *

"So, Annie, dear." Shirley offers as open and gentle a smile as she can. "How are you doing?" She gets an eye roll in response but she keeps her expression even despite the offense.

"Sorry, Shirley. I'm just tired of that question. I'm fine. Jeff dumped me and I'm okay. I know that nobody believes it but Jeff Winger isn't the centre of my world. In fact," She brightens. "I might be seeing someone?" Annie forces a wide smile. It's probably not good that the best she can say these days is that 'she's mostly telling the truth.'

Shirley's eyes widen and she's speechless but she manages to pass it off as excitement, she thinks. She realizes she has yet to speak and rushes to correct that.

"Oh, Annie! I'm so excited for you!" Shirley breathes deeply and reminds herself it's not a lie because 'excited' has many meanings and God forgives on technicalities all the time.

* * *

Shirley greets Jeff with minimal sympathy. He's the fool that started this entire saga and as much as she loves her study group, running around trying to fix their romantic problems while running a business and raising a family is not _fun_ for her.

"Jeffrey. Dear." He winces and Shirley feels a twinge of vindication. So the boy _knows_ he's a pain in the ass, at least there's that. She studies his face for a moment longer before her expression and tone softens. "What's going on, Jeff?"

"I'm in love with her, Shirley." Jeff is pretty sure that's the first 100% true and honest thing he's said since he and Annie ended their relationship. His confession is met with silence and he's a little bit surprised because he thought it'd draw a bigger reaction. This is a big deal, after all.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you had more to say. Stating the obvious isn't exactly shocking." Jeff is taken aback at Shirley's matter of fact reply because really, the _obvious_? That's reaching.

"It wasn't obvious." It's not his best defence but whatever.

"It was. And is. And you're a damned fool. But if you want to keep lying to yourself, that's fine. You should know that she's seeing someone, though. Your time to be honest and get yourself together is running short, Jeff." She pats his arm and, going on an instinct that has never led her wrong, she reaches over to hug him before she heads back behind the counter. Shirley's Sandwiches is a place for all kinds of nourishment and she kind of loves that. Her smiles grows as she realizes she didn't have to lie once during their entire conversation.

Jeff supposes it's progress that he knows exactly which of his words are lies now.

* * *

Jeff is so, so unimaginably thankful that Annie is a forgiving soul. Most of the time, anyway. He knows she still nurses an impressively strong grudge against Annie Kim. Because if she were less forgiving, there'd be no way she would even entertain the notion of talking to him. And she would have every right to ignore him like that. He's sort of been a selfish ass.

But it's Annie, so when he corners her, she hears him out.

"I'm sorry." She nods impassively and folds her arm protectively across her chest. He closes his eyes for a second hoping to marshal his jumbled thoughts into some sort of coherent explanation. When he opens them, he finds her studying her shoes and her shoulders tense. "I'm an idiot. Which, I know, you already know that. But…" He pauses again, unsure of how to articulate what he wants to get across.

"Fuck, Annie, I don't know how to say what I want to say." He figures he might as well be honest because Annie so rarely judges him for his honesty. Censures him, yes, but she doesn't judge him. She bites her lip and studies his face and he's pretty sure he's _actually_ on the verge of crying when she finally speaks.

"Try. We can figure it out later." She's quiet and calm and Jeff is sure he shouldn't read into her casual use of 'we' but he can't help the flicker of hope that rises at her words. He owes her his words, at the very least, so he forces himself to start somewhere.

"I love you." Once that's out, Jeff suddenly finds everything a lot easier. "I don't know if you knew that but I didn't. I mean, I did, but I didn't realize how bad it was." He winces. "I didn't mean that, it's a good thing! But I thought it was just that I really liked you and the sex was fun and I could borrow your hair products and I got along with your friends. But, Annie, it was… It was a lot more than that." He takes a deep breath, recalling what started his spiral of fear and bad decisions.

"A couple of months ago, you were playing with Ben and my first thought when I saw him throw himself at you?" She nods at the memory, smiling slightly as she remembers roughhousing with the toddler. "It was that he'd be a great linebacker but our kids would be so much better at track. Like, what the fuck, Annie?" He's pretty sure he looked deranged but he's being utterly genuine. "I've only ever thought about kids in the abstract. Things like, 'yeah, they're cute away from my expensive suits' and 'condoms are a man's best friend' and then…" He waved an arm rapidly at her. "You happened." She doesn't look impressed at his breathless exclamation but she doesn't look like she hates him either.

"So you're blaming me for our break-up?"

"What? No!" His reaction is immediate. "No, it was definitely all me. But… God, Annie, I didn't know what to do. I knew I loved you but I realized that I literally couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life without you." This time he hears her low gasp. "I didn't know what to do with that. I still don't, not really. But breaking up with you because I'm scared shitless was cutting off my nose to spite my face or something, I don't know, it was Britta's analogy, okay? And I was just so fucking unhappy without you." He can see the tears gathering in her eyes and her half-laugh is quivery but she isn't saying anything so he continues.

"I'm fucked up, Annie. And I don't know if it's worse to dump that on you or if it's worse to leave you and pretend it's for your own good when really, it's about protecting myself." He shrugs helplessly. "I don't know what to do."

"You're such an idiot." He nods in agreement. That has been firmly established at this point. "Haven't you already figured out that we're all messed up? Abed tried to cut your arm off once. Troy broke up with Britta because he wasn't done playing Peter Pan. Britta's first real attempt at a healthy relationship took her until 31 and she stills calls me drunk and crying at 3AM because of it. Shirley has rage issues. I'm still in recovery. Pierce is _Pierce_."

She's moved closer to him while speaking and she's suddenly right in front of him and she's smiling and Jeff is suddenly reconsidering his agnosticism because maybe heaven does exist and it's right here and right now.

He instantly invalidates his previous thoughts when she kisses him because this _this_ is heaven. She pulls away and Jeff wants to resist but he thinks it's only fair that she gets to make the decisions given his terrible track record lately.

"I love you." He amends his prior statement yet again before he finally decides that his definition of heaven is obviously Annie herself. It'll save him a lot of time if he makes that distinction now, he figures. He realizes he's been a little lost in his head when she clarifies. "Like, a lot, Jeff." She widens her eyes dramatically for extra emphasis and intones, "_A lot._" He huffs a laugh and pulls her into a hug.

"Yeah, I get it, Annie." Her words are muffled against his neck but he gets the gist of it – he's been enough of an idiot lately that she wasn't sure, you know, so – he cuts her off with another kiss.

It's the first time in weeks that neither of them have had to lie to get through a conversation.


	16. Chemical Equivalences & Safe Subs

The prompt: "I'd love to do a "the Other Study Group" challenge. "The Other Study Group" may be a study group that attended Greendale before the Greendale 7, attends Greendale at the same time as the Greendale 7, or will attend Greendale in the future. The story can be from the point of view of "the Other Study Group" or it may be from the point of view of one (or all) of the Greendale 7. "The Other Study Group" can also be made up of canon-based second- and third-tier characters, all OCs, or some combination of the two."

* * *

Annie knows she should resist, play hard to get or whatever, but she can't help herself, Rafe is _that_ charming. Instead, she curves her body toward him, tosses her hair behind her shoulder and playfully shoves at his arm. He smiles and leans in conspiratorially and Annie has high hopes that he's about to say something cute and flirty but he seems to catch sight of something out of the corner of his eye because it's subtle, but his demeanour shifts. He's still smiling but his whisper is so much less romantic than what she imagined.

"There's a group of people staring at us from the corner... Do you know them?" With a sigh, Annie starts in on her ready-to-use explanation of her study group.

* * *

When Annie marches over to the group and glares at them five minutes later, they're all prepared to get yelled at. It's expected and really, if she yells first, it helps justify all the yelling they're almost certainly about to do in turn. Shirley is their elected speaker this go-around so she clears her throat nervously and asks the question they all have waiting on the tips of their tongue as kindly as she can.

"An-nie. Who was that young man?" Annie holds the glare a moment longer before a smile breaks out across her face.

"That was Rafe and he asked me out!" Britta and Shirley light up and Pierce loses interest almost immediately. Abed stops to observe Jeff who is unmoving and impassive before he finally nudges Troy, an eyebrow raised. Troy rolls his eyes then shakes his head, and cocks his head in the direction of the cafeteria questioningly. Abed nods in response and they're off - they've got time for lunch, Jeff won't freak out right this minute after all.

* * *

It happens, instead, when they're around the study room table.

"So, how do you know this Rafe guy is legit, Annie? He could be a weirdo stalker with sexual perversions to rival the Marquis de Sade."

"Hey! Just because he enjoyed things that fell outside of the realm of regular mainstream vanilla sex doesn't mean that the sad guy was bad or a pervert-" Britta is silenced by Jeff's usual hand gesture and she hmphs unhappily. Annie takes that time to huff indignantly at Jeff.

"He invited me to come to his study group before we grabbed coffee, okay? I'm sure if he's a total weirdo, it'd be obvious after that. And okay, maybe he isn't 'legit' but," Jeff allows himself a second to feel offended at her use of air quotes before he tunes back in. "Why does it matter? I can take care of myself and it's not like any of the women you sleep with are 'legit' and nobody seems to care!" She throws an apologetic glance Britta's way. "No offence, Britta."

"None taken. Hey, wait!" Jeff ignores the protests from the peanut gallery and focuses on Annie.

"Aha! He's trying to steal you from us! They're probably all failing and they need your brain and he's seducing you away!" Annie looks nonplussed at his excited revelation.

"Should I be insulted that you think nobody would ask me out because they think I'm attractive or should I be complimented in your immense faith in my study abilities? I don't even know what class they're taking together, Jeff." Her irritation is palpable by now and Abed discretely rubs his palms together. He sort of wishes he had some chocolate-covered raisins but hey, them's the breaks.

* * *

Annie peers nervously around the corner while she waits for Rafe. It feels like her first day at Greendale all over, unsure if people will like her and how are there so many study groups on campus and she's never voluntarily asked to be part of any them? She's oh so close to falling down the rabbit hole of anxiety and stress when Rafe finally appears. She sighs in relief and smiles as he gestures her forward, directing her to Study Room A.

She looks around, taking it all in, and finds it inescapably strange to be in a study room at Greendale that looks almost exactly like the one she uses daily but _feels_ different. Nonetheless, she studies the faces of the people around the table and smiles shyly. A redhead in one of the corner seats waves back, a bright smile in place.

"Hey, guys, I brought a friend with me, this is Annie." Everyone smiles in welcome and Annie is a little taken aback. Are people always this friendly? "Annie," He touches her elbow gently, "this is Margo, Steve, Max, Lisa, Cynthia and Maria." He points at each person as he names them and she waves back dutifully. He pulls out a chair for her and sits down beside her and just like that, they start studying.

* * *

Annie discovers over the course of the next two hours, that they are all taking a Media Ethics course. It's an introductory course about journalistic integrity, copyright and more. It's not difficult, they all explain, just a lot of information. She nods, eyes wide, as they work together and help each other and generally, use their time productively.

It's like they're at a real college.

* * *

Of course, they're also friends, Lisa laughs. But study group is for studying. She wants to go into journalism, write exposés and change the world so she can't afford to mess this up – she's already on her second chance. Annie finds herself distracted by the lack of Chang puns.

* * *

Maria is bubbly and friendly and it seems like her life story pours out in one go. Her parents are immigrants and they can't afford to send her or her siblings to university, so community college it is until she can save up enough. This course is actually a bit of a lark for her, meant to aid in her volunteer position with the Immigrant Women's Centre, and Annie briefly thinks that she should introduce her to Britta before Max steals her attention.

* * *

Max is cute and has a talent for storytelling and he mostly wants to write children's books and youth fiction. It's a passion of his, he says, because books were such a boon growing up. Influencing the minds of the next generation, he says with a laugh. Annie thinks that if Rafe hadn't asked her out first, she'd probably fall head over heels for Max. She smiles ruefully when he casually mentions his boyfriend because _of course_.

* * *

Cynthia, sitting to her left, leans over and pats her arm consolingly, and explains that everyone falls a little in love with Max. Annie eyes widen and she starts to sputter out a denial when she realizes Cynthia was teasing. She quickly learns that Cynthia is a part-time student, who attends classes in between her job as paralegal. She's been thinking about a career change and Greendale is cheap enough for her to explore her options. Annie empathizes and tells her she's considering changing majors. The challenge of finding themselves creates an immediate bond.

* * *

Steve mostly stays quiet. He's a stay at home dad who used to work as an engineer. His kids are all going to be in school next year, he tells Annie proudly, so he's just trying to keep his skills current. She nods along to everything he says and coos at pictures of his kids and marvels at his equanimity.

* * *

Margo just sits and smiles and nods and speaks not a word. She doesn't speak to Annie the entire study session but when they're all getting ready to leave, she manages to corner her. She tells Annie that she seems like a nice young woman. Annie thanks her but she knows this intimidating woman is far from done. Margo proves her right as she tells Annie that she's a retired career woman who looks on this study group as her family and wants them happy. Happy _and safe_. Annie nods and hurries out after Rafe.

* * *

They go out to coffee and it's fun and it's nice and it's wonderful, really. Annie insists on paying for her own latte and declines Rafe's invitation for another date anyway.

Normal's overrated.


	17. The Art of Randomology

The prompt: "Here's one that people can take absolutely anywhere: JA story that must use these 10 randomly generated words: Wig, TV, Shopping, Prejudice, Square, Bath, Antique, Fleet, Holiday and License."

* * *

Jeff didn't hate Greendale and there was really no point in pretending he did. Greendale dances, however, were something he could do without. Unfortunately, his friends were still attending Greendale and the frequent dances were a good way of scheduling time together in an increasingly busy post-grad year.

And that was why Jeff found himself at the **Wig** Dance.

Okay, that and there was nothing on **TV** between May and June.

Still, Jeff couldn't bring himself to be too upset. He had merely reused last year's wig and gone shopping for _better_ things instead. Maybe there was some **prejudice** against adult men buying what essentially looked like toys but he hadn't been bothered. He had marched into the little hobby store and picked up six of those large **square** boxes and marched right back out. His immediate destination had been Apartment 303 and it would've been _grand_!

If he hadn't interrupted Annie having a **bath**.

Instead, Jeff had spun on his heel and thrown out a flimsy excuse over his shoulder as he ran away as fast as he could. It hadn't been his finest moment, not by a longshot. He'd even knocked over an **antique** lamp sitting in the hallway in his haste. He'd felt a twinge of guilt but it had been overwhelmed by his desire to flee. So he was a coward, so what?

He shook the memory out of his head and focused on why he'd bought the RC cars – he wanted to build a **fleet**! With Troy and Abed by his side, they'd be unstoppable!

"Jeff, why are you standing in the corner rubbing your hands together like a cartoon villain?" He was startled to realize that Annie was standing in front of him, looking concerned.

"Uh." He cast around for a reasonable explanation but found nothing. He sighed. "I'm bored and I want to go race cars with Troy and Abed."

"And here I thought it was the wig that lent you a sense of youthfulness." She nudged his shoulder playfully and he bumped her hip in retaliation. He winced as he reached out to steady her when she nearly went flying. "Thanks." She leaned into him as she adjusted her wig before she looked up at him curiously. "So what's with the renewed interest in RC cars?" He grinned.

"This **holiday** weekend, they're having a tournament. I think it was inspired by Fast & Furious 6 or the Indy 500 or… Honestly, I don't know. But… I think it'd be fun." She nodded slowly.

"Sounds like. Don't they need a **license** for that?" He shook his head.

"I don't think so. It's in the park and it's RC cars, nobody should be in danger." Her eyes were wide as she nodded again in understanding.

"So… Does that mean I can be on your team?" Her smile was teasing but he answered her seriously anyway.

"Anytime, Annie. Anytime."


	18. Romance in Regency England for Beginners

The prompt: "Here's one that people can take absolutely anywhere: JA story that must use these 10 randomly generated words: Wig, TV, Shopping, Prejudice, Square, Bath, Antique, Fleet, Holiday and License."

A/N: I wrote this entire thing in a British accent, just so you know. And I cheated with one of the words because it just didn't fit otherwise - you'll see!

* * *

Lord Jeffrey Winger, Esquire, adjusted his **wig** and checked his reflection in the looking glass. He looked as dashing as a man of limited means could possibly look. Straightening his coat one last time, he left his house and headed toward the town **square**.

He passed the **bath** house and the livery quickly, a **fleet** of merchants briefly obscuring his view, before he slowed, his destination, Bond Street, coming into sight - the premier place for well-bred young ladies to go **shopping**. If he were lucky, he would happen upon Lady Annie Edison. If he were _unlucky_, he'd happen upon Lady Annie _and_ her chaperone, Lady Britta Perry, who really wasn't much of a lady at all. Jeff glowered just thinking about her.

The Lady Perry had gone to the Colonies years ago and returned as quite the upstart, always railing about some **prejudice** or injustice or another. There were any number of rumours whispered about her in the gardens of Hyde Park and beyond. Not that it mattered much to her. She was no longer on the marriage mart but had rather settled into spinsterhood quite happily. With her parents long since deceased, she wasn't interested in finding a husband, preferring to live in her brother's town house and serve as chaperone to the unfortunately impressionable young ladies of the Ton Elite.

Jeffrey had once fancied her but he scoffed at the idea now. Lady Perry was all of the intelligence of Lady Annie with considerably less of the charm! It was a churlish and ungentlemanly thought but it was also agreed upon fact in the hallowed halls of White's and Brook's that she was much like a Greek siren or old, a vicious harpy wrapped in transcendent beauty, and so he consoled himself regarding his uncharitable thoughts.

It had stunned him at first that Lady Annie's parents would leave her in Lady Perry's charge, but it was common knowledge among the Ton that Lord and Lady Edison lived separate lives, unable to stand each other when forced together for any length of time. Their public rows had been famous in their volume and scathing anger. Once Lady Annie had been conceived, Lady Edison had retired to their country home while Lord Edison stayed in town, tending to the responsibilities a fortune and title entailed and avoiding his unhappy home as much as he could.

Their acrimonious relationship led to Lady Annie 'going away' for some time and missing what should have been her first season. It stood now as a mark against her in the eyes of the Ton despite her delicate beauty and appropriately demure demeanour. Jeffrey didn't hold any of that against her, though. He too had struggled.

His father was a well-known layabout and drunk, mean when he was home, and a wastrel and charlatan when he wasn't. His mother had become something of a recluse in the wake of his father's unending string of betrayals and he had sold **antique** after antique from their family home to put himself through law school and attain his **license** while she lived quietly in a townhouse on exclusive Park Lane.

He supported himself through honest means now, but it wasn't ideal, not when it came to the Ton Elite and taking his place in the House of Lords. As soon as his father was dead and gone, and he inherited the title, he swore to restore his family's honour and their fortune. The first step? Marrying a monied debutante. With his own reputation tarnished, he wasn't much of a catch. Seeing as how Lady Annie wasn't either, he thought she might be interested.

He deftly sidestepped a vagrant yelling about his **TV** or something but, with his mouth full of rotgut, it was hard to tell what the poor sod meant.

Speaking of poor sods, Pierce Hawthorne, a wealthy if irritating old man, was hosting a **holiday** party at his country estate and he intended to ask if Lady Annie was attending. He knew she would be as it was quite the annual event but it would make clear his interest without being _too_ forward. There, he would fine some time alone with her, a moment or two would do, and he would lay out his plight.

He'd had the chance to know Lady Annie in brief meetings through the years before he left for Oxford and since he had returned. She was a fierce little thing, resilient and bright. He was quite a few years older than she was but he hadn't yet married, preferring to keep a mistress here or there. Of course, he hadn't been in much of a position to take a bride prior but he hadn't felt much of a tug toward the matrimonial life given his parents' example.

It was this year, having settled into his profession that he quite enjoyed, when he had seen Lady Annie at the opening event of the Season that it had occurred to him that perhaps it was time for marriage. His mother badgered him regularly about the matter and his father, it was said, wouldn't be much longer for the world so his responsibilities amongst the peerage would be taking effect. Yes, Jeffrey thought, it seemed like all the stars were aligning. Here he was, finally interested in marriage and there she was, in want of a husband!

He had a foolproof backup plan just in case.

Should Lady Annie refuse him, Jeffrey would simply have to compromise her. It would be _such_ a chore, an arduous task to be sure, but he would do it, for God and country! He smiled to himself and buffed his nails jauntily against his coat. He leaned against a signpost, careful not to catch a rough edge, and waited for the young lady and, god forbid, her chaperone to emerge. If all went well, he might even have time for a visit to Saville Row. A few minutes later, he watched through the large front window as Lady Annie began paying for her purchases. It took him but a minute to make himself look busy as they exited.

It took only scant seconds, however, for Lady Annie and Lady Britta to bestow their combined attention upon him.


	19. Dating for Dummies

The prompt: "Jeff and/or Annie not realizing they are on a date.."

A/N: I wrote a tiny little extra bit (187 words) added at the very end just to bother busycybering but it it NOT how the fic would end were I to continue it.

* * *

Jeff and Annie arrived at the hotel, surprised to find they were the first ones there. Annie looked at Jeff, a question on her face, but he just shrugged and proceeded to check-in. Heaving a sigh, she followed him up to their adjoining rooms, determined to relax before her rambunctious roommates and the rest of their... Delightfully absurd friends arrived.

Which was, of course, when they discovered that the group was no longer coming.

Britta's succinct text explained that she had to choose between rent and their vacation and she chose rent. Troy and Abed had gotten derailed on their way to Vail when they stumbled upon a movie being filmed. The ensuing text conversation had gone like so:

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:02

**Annie:** _What? Why aren't you coming?_

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:03

**Abed:** _I told you they're filming a remake of Alien Seed._

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:05

**Annie**: _What movie is that?_

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:06

**Abed:** _A 1989 sci-fi classic._

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:09

**Annie:** _... Okay. Why do you even know about it?_

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:09

**Annie:** _Wait, forget it. Why did I even ask?_

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:09

**Abed:** _I've seen everything Erik Estrada's been in. Why haven't you?_

Sent at 08-02-2014-15:20

**Annie:** _We'll discuss this later._

Shirley cancelled because Elijah was sick with the flu and she was certain, left to Andre, she would come back to four sick boys instead of one. Pierce had forgotten but pretended he hadn't by insisting he had plans with a Swiss Air flight attendant. Jeff hadn't been sorry about losing the company with him.

At 6:15, they headed down to grab dinner at the in-house restaurant, deciding to enjoy the weekend despite the absence of their friends. It was a nicer hotel, which necessitated a little extra care put into their appearances. And that was the only reason, Jeff maintained, that he nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw Annie.

"Milady?" He managed to extend his arm and play off his silence as gallantry. She took the proffered elbow and hid a smile behind her hand.

"Milord." They made their way to the restaurant, were seated almost immediately, and fell into conversation as they perused the menu.

He ordered the filet mignon, medium rare, and she ordered the lamb. They talked. They laughed. They shared a bottle of wine. It shouldn't have been a surprise and yet, two and a half hours had passed when the waiter finally came around to ask about dessert.

"Want to share?" His smile was equal parts charming and hopeful.

"Watching out for your abs?" Her fond teasing garnered a smile from him.

"Don't lie, so are you." He had a moment of delighted glee when, instead of responding, Annie blushed delicately. "I put in the time and effort for you as much as me, Annie."

"The molten chocolate lava cake?" She cleared her throat rather than respond and looked at him for confirmation. His smile spread and she shifted her gaze to the waiter. "We'll do the molten chocolate lava cake. Thank you." The young man smiled back and nodded, moving back toward the kitchen. "So, chocolate cake. That's gonna be, what, an extra two miles and three sets of crunches?"

"An hour of physical exertion. Any kind, really. Running isn't the _only_ way to burn calories, Annie." Her blush flared again.

It was another hour before they left the restaurant, still smiling, their waiter discretely wishing them a good night. They took their time on the way back to their rooms, a lazy contentment slowing their pace. Annie leaned against him, his arm winding around her shoulders.

"This was better than most dates I've been on." She quirked an eyebrow in disbelief at his words. "What? I had good wine, good food, good company." He planted a kiss against her hair.

"Hmm. I paid on my last three dates. I don't just mean for myself. I mean, for the whole date." She turned to look at him, gauging his reaction and Jeff made a well-deserved and appropriately disgusted face. "Yeah, I know!" Bolstered by his response, her exclamation was enthusiastic. They reached the door and entered the quiet room. "So… I guess this is goodnight?" She looked almost shy as she asked.

"Guess so. Goodnight, Annie." He threw her a half-smile and moved through the door to his room, closing it softly behind him. He stopped and leaned against it, heart thudding. Had that been a date? They'd dressed up a bit, gone to dinner in a fancy restaurant, shared a meal, he'd walked her to the door…

Fifteen minutes later, Jeff stood in front of the door to Annie's room, a bottle of scotch in hand, and knocked.

* * *

Just to thwart busycybering because I am a big ol' meanie:

Jeff held his breath in anticipation, stomach fluttering wildly. He heard a faint 'come in' and turned the doorknob, feeling it give under the pressure. He stepped into Annie's room and stopped short as Annie looked up at him with a distracted smile, her attention devoted to the phone pressed to her ear and the person on the other end.

"Uh huh. Yeah, that sounds great, Rich, I would love to take you up on that. Anytime next week should be good for me... Just let me know what works with your schedule, okay? Great, I look forward to getting together with you..." She laughed delicately in response to something he said and continued. "Alright, well, it was good to hear from you, Rich. Really. I'm so glad you thought of me... Okay, you too, take care." She pressed a button on the phone, ending the call, and dropped it on the bed beside her, looking up at Jeff. H

er expression indicated how overwhelmed she was and Jeff forced himself to swallow despite his dry throat and breathe deeply. Now obviously wasn't the time for sharing.


	20. Intro to Early Stages of Courtship

The prompt: "Jeff and/or Annie not realizing they are on a date..

* * *

It starts that morning. They happen upon each other at the park on the wooded paths away from the happy shrieks of toddlers and their parents chasing them. They're both out running and since it's a beautiful Saturday morning, bright and cool with the promise of a sunny, warm day ahead, they decide to run together. Afterward, they're doing their cool down and Jeff suggests they grab brunch, after they've both had a chance to clean up. Annie thinks about her apartment, quiet thanks to Troy and Abed's absence, and her fridge, empty except for a half-finished package of frozen Eggo Waffles and agrees without hesitation. Jeff offers to pick her up in an hour and she accepts and with that, they say their goodbyes, both homeward bound.

She's a little surprised that he comes to the door instead of just texting her but she appreciates the gesture because two years later, and she still has random flashbacks to Spaghetti. She's wearing a strapless sundress, all the better to take advantage of the early summer sunshine, and it's a cute coincidence that they match. They make their way to a little cafe that's at the half-way point between their apartments, arms brushing casually as they enter. The place is cozy and lovely and small, a gem that everyone in the neighbourhood knows about. They're seated quickly because they've just barely managed to beat the weekend rush.

Annie orders the maple pecan waffles with a side of fruit already knowing that Jeff is going to eat all of her blueberries and he orders the spinach and feta egg white omelette and a chai latte because he knows it comes with a free fancy coffee and that's Annie's favourite. It's an easy meal, the conversation flowing and their spirits high. Jeff pays the bill, ignoring Annie's pout, and they head out, not quite ready to part ways.

"Did you have anything planned today?" She cocks her head, thinking.

"Not really, no. But there's an artisan fair down on Main. I was planning to head there and then to the farmer's market, since we're low on... Everything." Jeff nods and offers his arm. She raises an eyebrow and he returns her gaze unflinchingly.

"Milady?" She sighs, unable to keep the smile from her face.

"Milord." She takes his arm and they stroll the few blocks to Main, the artisan fair clearly in full throttle. They spend an hour or two wandering the stalls and booths, picking out things for Britta and Shirley, and pointing out a weird imported Norwegian troll that gives them both the shivers. It's approaching 12:30 by the time they hit the farmer's market and it only makes sense to grab lunch too. They keep it light, still content from brunch, and walk around with fresh gelato, while Jeff is relegated to carrying all of their purchases, only about half of which are Annie's, as she looks over the produce on display.

It's almost 4PM by the time they call it a day, heading back to Annie's apartment. Jeff hangs around, relaxing after a day out and about wandering in the blazing sun. Annie apologizes for keeping him all day and making him into her packmule but he waves it off. Nonetheless, she explains, it's only fair, after he paid for brunch and lunch that he let her make him dinner. He offers up some token protests before agreeing and it's settled because his apartment is empty too it's as good an excuse as any to avoid going home to the quiet.

Annie pulls together everything she needs for a salad and starts chopping. She leaves the cherry tomatoes whole, but the yellow peppers are sliced as are the cucumbers and carrots, circular disks of colour filling the bowl. She toasts some almonds and tosses those in too before tackling the dressing. Jeff leans against the counter and watches her move, confident and graceful, and realizes he's never had the opportunity to just watch Annie move. Or he's never taken it. Either way, he adds it to his list of regrets.

Here, she's in control and mature and competent and graceful. The realization that _this_ Annie isn't a new or different person from the Annie he used to see everyday at school comes as a bit of a shock. But the more he thinks about it, about why he never saw it before, the more he understands that she hasn't changed – he has.

"Jeff?" She nudges him gently and he straightens with a start.

"Yeah, sorry…" She waves off his apology.

"Everyone zones out sometimes. It's not like I was rambling about anything important, but," She hoists the bowl she's carrying a little higher. "The salad is done and the chicken is in the oven. It'll be ready shortly so I thought we could get started?" He nods in agreement and moves to take the bowl from her hand. She lets him, grabbing two beers from the fridge.

It's as he clinks his bottle against hers that Jeff has another revelation: Annie's an adult and he spent the entire day with her and enjoyed it and she's beautiful and… He has absolutely no reason not to ask her out.


	21. Intro to Coping, Complications & Grief

The prompt: "...a quote from the Alexi Murdoch song Orange Sky: 'My salvation lies in your love.'"

A/N: Warning: Potential character death (implied).

So this was a bit darker than my usual because I wanted to try writing angst. I listened to the Alexei Murdoch song in question repeatedly as I wrote it. You can find it on YouTube, if you want the ambiance.

* * *

He stands there, unable to look away, eyes locked on her unmoving form. His ability to function is severely impaired by exhaustion, and fear, and anger, and this overwhelming sense of _pain_. He feels like he's been drowning slowly for hours. Every time he breaks the surface, he's pushed beneath the crashing tides, another tidal wave of grief forcing him under. As long as she's not responding, there's no salvation coming down the line.

* * *

He was at work, in the middle of reading the latest casefile to hit his desk, when he got the call. He answered his phone distractedly. The conversation is pretty one-sided and lasts all of six minutes but the next few? They're a blur of action and Jeff doesn't remember a single second of it.

All he knows is that he made his way to the hospital in record time, parked haphazardly, and made it to the ER in one piece, barely. At some point, he called Shirley who informed Troy who informed Abed who informed Britta. He only knows this happened because two hours later, he looks around the waiting room, and realizes that they're all _there_ and he has no idea when that happened.

It occurs to him later, in a rare moment of clarity, that he should call Pierce so he does. He's mostly glad he catches his voicemail.

* * *

It's been three days and he's on compassion leave from work. There are benefits, he discovers, to being a public servant. Decent pension and fighting on the side of angels aside, they offer things like compassionate leave instead of saying, 'sorry you're going through shit, but if you want to make partner, deal with it on your own fucking time' which he knows was the policy at his old firm because he heard Alan actually say that to Thompson.

He would give those benefits up in a millisecond if it meant that Annie would wake up.

* * *

It's been four months and he's back at work but there's something in him that's thisclose to being irrevocably broken. Annie's not responding to treatment and his world has continued to spin but his heart has mostly withered. It makes him think of winter and how everything looks pretty but dead. The glimmer of fresh snow adds a cold beauty to an otherwise barren landscape in those frozen months. Until Jeff has Annie back, until he can bask in the sunshine of her love, he's checked out, waiting for time to pass and the seasons to change.

The rest of the group doesn't seem to get it, not really, except maybe Abed. At least, not until he ends up yelling at Britta. It's an ugly scene in which Jeff manages to make telling them he loves them into something sick. Because he loves Annie _more_ and _differently_ and _better_ than he loves them, than they love her and _their love can't save him._

It's ugly and there's no picturesque snow coat to cover the desolation and lifelessness left afterward.


	22. Perilous Paths to Personal Enlightenment

The prompt: "The heart wants what the heart wants."

* * *

He tells them on a Friday night.

It's the first time in three weeks that they've all managed to clear a time and place to hang out so he waits until everyone is eating and drinking and has been lulled by the comforting sense of camaraderie filling the room to mention it. He swears to himself up and down that the timing is incidental and he wasn't intentionally waiting until they were all just a little more complacent and happy but he knows he's lying to himself. In the moments before he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to speak, he admits to himself that he's scared of how they'll react. And specifically, he's terrified at how _she'll_ react. But then he's said the words and it's too late to take them back.

"Next time you guys are free, I want to introduce you to someone... A woman that I've been seeing." There are casual smiles all around the table at first and then Jeff's words sink in and it's like watching dominoes fall, how their faces change, one by one.

"Oh, well, that's... Nice." However, it's only Shirley that's brave enough to lie to his face.

* * *

He's not really surprised that it takes them almost five weeks to find another time to meet up. There are seven (eight if you count his date) schedules to coordinate and it's hard, you know? But he can't help but feel that there's some invisible line that's been drawn and they're all on... The other side of it. He pretends he doesn't know why before he finally heaves a mental sigh and jots down one _more_ thing to talk to his therapist about on the list he keeps in his head.

* * *

They meet her on a Wednesday. It's at Denny's because after his botched celebratory graduation dinner, Senor Kevin's is officially on his blacklist and the group can't agree on any other location. They all pile into a booth and he knows with every fibre of his being that the way they all scurried to the table wasn't coordinated but the way he and Kate are both left to pull up chairs is sure as hell purposeful and meaningful. He ignores it, though, because if he doesn't it'll become awkward and then he'll have to explain to Kate and that's just not something he wants to do.

It's silent as they all take the time to peruse their menus but it goes on a shade too long to be normal. Jeff furtively eyes each one of them in turn but it's clear that nobody wants to be the one to break the weird extended silence that's going on so it's left to him. He tries to think of a neutral topic that won't set any of the usual group dramatics off and comes up blank because holy hell, this group is a powder keg and he's just now realizing it when he has to take into account someone who's a stranger to the group's dynamics. He clears his throat, ignores the water that Abed pushes his way, and wades in because what else is he supposed to do?

"Does anyone actually eat the whole lumberjack breakfast, you think?" He shakes his head at his own inane question but seriously, what the fuck else is he _supposed to do?_

"Pathetic!" Pierce practically squawks the word and Jeff is forced to bite his tongue because for once, Pierce is right.

* * *

He calls Annie the next day. He's not sure if it's to apologize or to explain but he does it anyway before he can second-guess himself. He's not really prepared for the level of surprise she expresses.

"You didn't have to call, Jeff. I get why you thought it might be weird but you can do whatever you want to do. We're not together and we never have been." Her voice is warm and relaxed and maybe even a little pleased that Jeff is compassionate enough to ring her up and check on her of his own volition. There's no hidden malice in her words, no pointed remarks about his ego in expecting her to be crying over him… It's a pleasant, if unexpected, turn of events, right?

Instead, her words _hurt_. He's not sure why that is exactly although he could maybe guess. But he ends up drowning his inexplicable sorrows in scotch because sometimes that's easier than copping to something he'd rather avoid.

* * *

He takes Kate to dinner on Saturday and they have a good meal, share some expensive wine. It's a really good date, to be honest. The conversation flows and she looks phenomenal and he's perfectly witty and his hair is having its finest day since that time in 2007 when he woke up with the perfect bedhead. Really, this is everything he could possibly hope to want in a fourth (or is it fifth?) date.

Kate comments lightly on his friends being an interesting bunch, her smile is warm and open, and he smiles back, agreeing that they take a bit of getting used to but he promises they'll grow on her whether she wants them to or not. She laughs and says she hopes they get the chance, her fingers gently tapping at his.

An hour later, as they're leaving the restaurant, she leans up and presses a kiss against his lips and invites him back to her place. He begs off, asking for a rain cheque because he has a bit of a headache starting from the wine or a migraine is coming on due to the weather, something like that. He's not really lying, there's a stabbing pain behind his left eye and while he's awesome, even he can't promise a good time if it feels like his head is going to explode.

* * *

The next group outing doesn't take over a month to plan. They manage to meet up for Sunday brunch ten days later and the group is considerably more casual, friendly and lively and all those positive things he'd been hoping for during their first meeting with Kate.

She smiles and laughs and banters and looks pretty in her jeans and voluminous sweater-shirt. Troy seems incapable of _not_ smiling back and okay, Abed appears unimpressed but Jeff didn't really expect to win him over right away anyway.

Britta makes small talk about the animal shelter she volunteers at and suddenly, an involved discussion about cat behaviour is taking place that makes Jeff look at the two of them askance. Pierce interjects to make a joke about how to properly pet a pussy and Annie turns briefly from her conversation to scold and chastise him. Britta shakes her head in exasperation but the incident otherwise passes without comment and Jeff feels a faint glimmer of hope that maybe this will work out okay.

Because he actually, genuinely, sincerely likes Kate. There are no games like there was with Slater, no secrets and sense of self-sabotage as with Britta, and there are no seemingly insurmountable obstacles like with… Anyone else.

Shirley breaks his train of thought when she asks him a question and times marches on.

* * *

A week later and they're doing a movie marathon at Case Trobed (+ Annie) and Jeff ends up getting up to grab a drink while Annie is refreshing the snacks. He stands awkwardly at the fridge, staring into its depths for much longer than strictly required, when Annie nudges him.

"I hate to interrupt your deep philosophical contemplation of the contents of our fridge but I need to grab the salsa." She's teasing him and he's suddenly feeling just a little suffocated as he stares at her unmoving. "Uh, Jeff, I was just teasing but I do really need to grab the salsa." He nods at her and moves back and she squeezes past him to grab one or two things before she pats him on the arm.

"If you were looking for that imported beer you like, we didn't get it this time – it was between that or fresh veggies and I threatened Abed and Troy to get my way." Her smile is tentative this time, as she takes in his somber face. "Sorry." It's offered up questioningly and he finally forces a smile and shrugs off her apology.

"Don't worry about it, Annie. It's not your problem." He fears truer words have never been spoken.

* * *

He wakes up with a hangover and a voicemail.

He listens to it on his way to work and by the time he's on the freeway, he discovers he's single once more. They weren't officially exclusive but they had both said they weren't other people. He'd gone out for drinks with her friends the other night and the fact that she'd met his was the catalyst for this whole mess.

He's not particularly shocked but he takes a second to wonder if he drunkenly called her and left some kind of incriminating voicemail or if her reasoning is based on the aborted glances and the barely checked smiles he'd been sending Annie _all the fucking time_ in retrospect. Oddly enough, Annie has rarely looked his way the last couple of months but it had made him all the more determined to catch her eye. Clearly, Jeff reflects, sarcastic even in his head, subtly is his most vaunted skill.

According to Kate, the heart wants what the heart wants. They've only been 'together' for two and a half months so she's not devastated to hear that his heart wants Annie but maybe, the tinny recording says, he should do something about that instead of wasting other people's valuable time.

Jeff decides that maybe she has a point and resolves to take her advice.


	23. Introduction to Kentucky Hospitality

The prompt: "Jeff and Annie on a double-date with any couple from another one of your favourite shows."

A/N: **SPOILERS**: Season four of Justified is referenced herein.

* * *

Annie didn't want to be here but she had made a commitment and if there was one thing Annie was good at, it was keeping her promises. So she was here, just as she had told Winona she would be. But she was uncomfortable because Jeff was visiting and what was the dynamic going to be? He'd never met these people! She had only just met Winona herself! Nevermind how complicated both of their relationships were… It wasn't a date _date_ but it was kind of a date, right?

When she'd called Winona to let her know, the older woman had reassured her that a second buffer would be great and then sighed and admitted that 'Raylan doesn't do so great at playing nice sometimes so just warn your boyfriend, okay? Because Raylan can be charming as all hell, Annie, but the man is trouble. And a jerk.' Annie had nodded along mindlessly. Moments later, unable to help herself, she blurted out that Jeff wasn't her boyfriend and followed up the unwilling confession with a groan.

"Oh, sweetie, it's like that, huh?" The sympathy had been a balm for Annie.

"Yeah… We're… I don't know."

"Hey, look, I'm the last person to judge!" Winona had let out a laugh that didn't sound particularly laugh-y. "But you be my buffer and I'll be yours, okay?" Annie had taken a deep breath, agreed, and with that, the schedule for the non-date date with two men who were nothing but trouble and charm was set.

* * *

Annie had a student placement in Lexington, Kentucky and met Winona at the courthouse on a warm summer day as she waited to watch her supervisor testify as an expert witness. The two had started chatting; Annie understood all about making mistakes and Winona, pregnant and alone, had wanted someone to trust. They'd made quite a pair but it was nice to have someone unrelated to her past to confide in and Winona seemed to feel the same. And lo, a friendship was born.

* * *

"Ma'am." He shook her hand and tipped his hat, towering over her, as he waited for her to be seated. Annie desperately tried not to be charmed but as she met Winona's hesitant gaze, she conceded that it was a lost cause.

"Hi, it's lovely to meet you." She took in his chagrined smile and added, as sincerely as she could, "It really is, Raylan."

"Oh, I bet it is. A face to go with the stories of all of my wrongdoin'? Who could resist?" It was said jokingly but Annie frowned slightly at the undercurrent of equal parts suspicion and self-loathing while he threw a loaded glance at Winona.

"Winona's been so complimentary. And she swore up and down that you were a real gentleman." She glanced at Jeff out of the corner of her eye. "And I love the hat." That got a smile out of Raylan.

"Well, thank you kindly." As if he was seeing him for the first time, he turned to Jeff and stretched a hand out. "I'm Raylan Givens, Winona's…" He looked at the woman in question again before shrugging. "I'm her baby daddy."

"Jeff Winger, a, uh… Friend of Annie's." He grasped the other man's hand firmly and they shook even as Raylan's eyebrow rose at his description.

"Friend, huh? We ever called ourselves that, Winona?" She closed her eyes briefly then shook her head in exasperation.

"No, Raylan, we haven't 'cause we've never been friends." She looked at Jeff, almost but not quite apologetic. "It's nice to meet you, Jeff. Annie's been such a sweetheart since I met her, I can't imagine how lucky you are to have her full-time back in Colorado."

"We are lucky." He took a quick glance at the woman beside him before meeting Winona's gaze. "And we know it. We're not letting you keep her." He finished it with a smile and Winona nodded back, a tight smile gracing her features. Annie mercilessly stifled the tiny sprig of hopefulness that sprouted at Jeff's words. She refused to be drawn back into that complicated and painful mess of feelings and crossed wires that were Jeff Winger's affections.

"Now that you've staked your claim, how about we eat?" The side of Jeff's mouth quirked at Raylan's words but despite the amusement, he felt no guilt as he watched Winona dig her elbow into his side.

"Quit being a jerk, Raylan. This is exactly why we're not friends." Jeff and Annie watched as Raylan's face took on a skeptical expression.

"He's not even offended!" He gestured to Jeff, eyes still trained on Winona. "And I thought we weren't friends because we always end up in bed together?" Annie was impressed at Winona's restrained reaction which was largely limited to a disbelieving expression and a dismissive hand gesture.

"Oh, please, Raylan, you end up in bed with everyone. We aren't friends because you're a jerk." Annie steeled herself to intervene. She wasn't doing much in her role as a buffer and she might as well earn her title somehow.

"It's amazing how civil you can be. When he was sleeping with one of our friends," Annie gestured to Jeff casually. "They still quibbled like toddlers." Winona groaned.

"Really? Honestly, we do the same thing sometimes. Tried being married, didn't work. Tried dating, _that_ didn't work. The baby was," She looked down at her swelled tummy. "An accident. But we'll see how it goes." She shot a warning glare at Raylan. "He's on thin ice." Raylan held up his palms in defense.

"Me? I'm not doin' anything." He waited until Winona sighed and lowered his hands, a smile spreading across his face. "So, Jeff, what do you do back in Colorado?"

Annie met Winona's eyes and sighed. This was going to be a long day.


	24. Contemporary Pop Psychology 400

The prompt: "Jeff and Annie on a double-date with any couple from another one of your favourite shows."

A/N: **SPOILERS**: Arrested Development's fourth season is referenced herein.

* * *

They bump into each other while grabbing coffee and the conversation flows easily while they're in line. Easily enough that it doesn't seem unusual when meeting for dinner with their respective boyfriends is suggested. It's not difficult to agree because Annie doesn't know this town but she recognizes the name of the exclusive place that, given Jeff's expensive tastes, would go over well. It may not be 'fun' to have dinner with strangers and maybe he's not her boyfriend but those are immaterial details in light of the opportunity for adventure and a wonderful meal.

6PM at The Ealing Club, Ann says. 6PM at The Ealing Club, Annie parrots back.

* * *

He's wearing an expensive suit and Annie discreetly pats her unexpectedly hot cheeks because the man cuts a fine figure in well-tailored Armani, he really does. Annie is wearing a midnight blue dress and classic pearls and four-inch peep-toes that cost two weeks rent. It's a mature look and hopefully it flies because Ann is conservative and quiet and maybe a little boring but she's likeable and hasn't tried to baptise her once so Annie doesn't mind one bit.

She spots the blonde standing next to a man just as tall as Jeff and there's anticipation building because even from the back, that man does _not_ look like he's 18. Every possible suspicion is confirmed a second later when the couple turns around to greet them, the tall man, GOB she finds out, wearing a too-wide smile and in possession of manic-eyes. His smile lasts even as he gives Annie a once over, then a second and third look, as he loosely hangs an arm around Ann, as he stares at Jeff assessingly, taking in the sharp suit, and as they approach the desk.

Annie and Jeff share a look and it's all that's needed to communicate their sudden hesitation.

* * *

The dinner is nowhere near as bad as feared but that's mostly because they both realize about ten minutes in that they're dealing with cartoon characters. GOB is attractive and privileged and all the things Britta rants against but he's _such_ a buffoon that Annie can't find it in herself to be angry at him. It's a little like what she imagines having dinner with Ryan Lochte would be like except that GOB appears to be singularly untalented.

"You're engaged? Congratulations!" The good wishes are genuine but logic dictates that this is a nonsensical pairing. At the very least, Annie can't see what's keeping them together. GOB continuously uses Ann's name in the middle of words, at one point referring to his fiancée as an 'Annnnndwich', and Annie's confusion only grows.

"Thank you! We're getting married next week." Ann's enthusiasm is clearly catching. Her announcement causes GOB to cheer and down his glass of scotch. He sputters and coughs but recovers a moment later, enough to speak anyway.

"Yep. Next week. Right after I perform an incredible new illusion." He reads their expressions as mild interest, when it's really more like bemusement, and offers a modest explanation. "I'm a famous magician."

They smile and nod.


	25. Milestone Birthdays, A Primer

The prompt: "**... to youuuuu! Someone in the study group is celebrating their birthday. It doesn't go according to plan."**

* * *

Britta turns 35 and it's a big deal.

Not because of Britta. No, not at all! Rather, it's Jeff and Annie's debut as a real, functional adult couple. Which is a big deal. So, by extension, Britta' birthday is a big deal. But not because it's _Britta's_ birthday.

Britta's loud protests are mostly ignored. Shirley, at least, pats her arm consolingly.

In an effort to make Britta feel a tad more appreciated, and _only_ a tad Pierce yells via video-chat, they gather at her favourite restaurant. At 6:15, twenty minutes after the decided meeting time, Jeff and Annie stroll in. Well, Jeff strolls while Annie hurries, apologies already falling from her lips.

"I'm so sorry, Britta! But it's all his fault!" She points accusingly at Jeff who pretends to look offended until he loses interest, shrugging and pulling out a chair for Annie instead. "He insisted on being fashionably late and he started doing his hair way off schedule! Since he was driving, I couldn't leave without him, and-" It is, in fact, exactly like when they weren't together.

"I thought you guys would be more interesting." The stream of words spilling from Annie's lips stop abruptly and she stares at Abed, stricken. She doesn't ask a question but he figures she wants an explanation so he continues.

"You took seven years to start dating. I understand the first two," Abed cocks his head thoughtfully, "okay, the first three, but what was the hold up after that?" He stares at Annie who stares back, uncomfortable. Abed's appraising gaze drifts slowly in Jeff's direction. The rest of the study group, in unison, follows suit seconds later.

"What?" Jeff fingers still against his phone as he looks up to find six people staring at him. "Clearly, you all want some answers. But I don't have any, mostly because I wasn't paying attention, but I can offer you the next best thing; Britta, get the vegetarian lasagna because, seriously, you need the iron; Troy, pizza; Abed, please, do us all a favour and order the buttered noodles; Shirley-" He saw the forbidding look on her face and coughed. "You're an adult, order whatever you want. Annie?" He eyed her assessingly. "I'd say go with the mushroom risotto." He threw in a wink, attention wandering back to his phone.

"They've got pizza? Huzzah!" A single fist pump later, Troy catches Britta's judgey stare and shifts back into glaring at Jeff.

It's Annie who gives up the staring contest with the inattentive Jeff first.

She clears her throat, getting the group's attention, and peruses the menu exaggeratedly. This isn't the time for deep discussions of relationships, her tense posture says. It takes a few minutes but eventually, they fall in line, menus in hand.

"Man, I'm glad it's not _my_ birthday!" The loud declaration comes from a table across the way but it gets everyone's attention. Only Jeff responds, though.

"Shut up, Leonard, everyone knows you've been 72 for six years!"


	26. Milestone Birthdays, Additional Material

The prompt for my eighteenth battle: "**... to youuuuu! Someone in the study group is celebrating their birthday. It doesn't go according to plan."**

* * *

Her birthday falls in that precarious place between Christmas and New Years. In years past, it hadn't mattered much because her mother celebrated Hanukkah with more enthusiasm than her father had celebrated Christmas. And she hadn't had any friends to bother with anyway.

This year, it's a milestone birthday _and_ she has friends. According to the group, 25 is a big one! Plans had been made, gifts purchased, a birthday girl unenthusiastically committed.

Until it all fell apart.

One by one, the excuses roll in. Andre's evil mother refuses to let Shirley host Christmas this year so they have to make the trek, two towns over, for the festivities and they won't be back in time. Annie nods and smiles and isn't surprised – Shirley has a family and obligations and Annie can only wish her parents had cared that much when she was a kid.

"_Oh, Annie, honey, I'm so sorry! That… Witch won't let me have Christmas. Something about that Thanksgiving in 2013? Who can remember that far back? Evil old crones, that's who!"_

"_Really, Shirley, don't worry. Ben is still so young, he deserves to have this. Go, try to have fun?"_

"_I'll try but I'm going to end up spending the whole time wishing I was here celebrating with you!"_

Then Abed finds out his grandmother is sick. His father has to leave immediately and that means that Abed is running the falafel shop in his absence. He apologizes to Annie who frets enough for the both of them. She hugs him and reassures him and hugs him again while he pats her back, consoling _her_. Abed promises he'll make her a special birthday falafel and that's another one down.

"_Yeah, it sounds pretty bad. I've only met her a few times but she was nice."_

"_Abed, I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope she's okay. You do what you have to do, family is way more important that some measly birthday. Is there anything we can do?"_

"_No, she's back home and I don't think they'd let a care package through AirMail. But thanks, Annie. I'll make a special falafel just for your birthday, on the house."_

Troy pouts as he tells her that his dad is taking the family on an out-of-town trip to go skiing in Vail. He doesn't want to go but his dad is trying to force the kids to bond with his girlfriend in case she ends up their stepmom in the coming months. He gags as he finishes relating the story and Annie rubs his back and promises to never date his dad.

"_She's 28 and she might be my stepmom, Annie! 28!"_

"_I know, Troy, you've told me."_

"_I don't want to go but Dad has a lot of embarrassing pictures of me. I was 12 and I had just discovered butt stuff…" _

"_Yeah… So, I promise I'll never date your dad if you don't tell me anything more, okay?"_

Britta waits until just a week before to cancel. She apologizes profusely and swears up and down that she didn't want to do this to Annie but the animals, the animals! They needed her. Annie knows Britta's a soft touch and was probably suckered into the extra shifts by someone else who wanted the holidays free so she shakes her head and waves away the excuses as unnecessary.

"_But really, Annie, I am so unbelievably sorry. But I couldn't say no! I mean, Ansel and Meredith and Harriet respond really well to me and there's only a skeleton staff around during the holidays and everyone kept backing out-"_

"_Forget about it, Britta, it's not a big deal. I didn't even want to celebrate!"_

Annie figures the one upside is that _she_ gets to call _Jeff_ and cancel.

It doesn't quite work out that way. Instead, Jeff shows up at her apartment on the date in question.

"_Get dressed."_

"_What? Jeff. You can't just barge in and tell me what to do!" He frowned at her response._

"_Go get dressed, Annie. It's your 25__th__ birthday and I'm taking you out. It doesn't have to be a big deal with party hats and streamers but we're going out." He pushed her gently into her room. "Wear something nice!" His last bit of direction was muffled through the closed door but Annie understood._

When Abed brings home Annie's special birthday falafel just before midnight, the woman in question is nowhere to be found. Miles away, clad only in her birthday suit, Annie decides that this was her best birthday yet.


	27. Adv Int Scholastic Fraternization 302

The prompt: **"So, if we sometimes fight, doesn't mean we've got problems" from the song "Serious" by Duran Duran."**

* * *

"Why did you even come, then? If you're just going to be a jerk, what was the point?"

"What? How am _I_ being a jerk? I took time out of my day to come support you and somehow I'm the asshole? Do you want me to wait while you dig that hole a little deeper or are you taking a break for now?"

"Uhn!" Despite the loud noise of protest, her glare didn't waver. "I didn't ask you to be here, Jeff, so don't put this on me! I have class, I can't deal with this right now." She threw him one final angry sniff and stormed off.

Jeff attempted to ignore the not-so-subtle throat clearing on his periphery but when it was followed up with a loud-pretending-to-be-quiet 'ahem' he sighed and resigned himself to his fate, turning around to face his tormentor.

"You know, Jeffrey, I can't help but notice there's a bit of a rift there growing between you and Ms. Edison! What's that about? Are you two," and here his voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned in conspiratorially, "having problems?" He patted Jeff's pec gently. "You can talk to me, you know. We're not dean and student anymore. We're," he sighed, a dreamy expression crossing his face, "friends now."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks for that." He removed the offending hand with two fingers, dropping the limp wrist away from him. "Annie and I are fine. A fight does not a problem make. We're just…" He exhaled heavily. "Working some stuff out."

"Well, if you ever need to blow off some steam, say physically or whatever, I'm you're man. I mean, I'm here for your use." He shook his head as if to dispel his muddled thoughts. "You know. I'm available to meet your needs." He smiled coyly as his words registered. "Oh, you know what I mean!" He slapped at Jeff's chest, which quickly turned into a caress. Jeff rolled his eyes and stepped back.

"I appreciate the offer, really, but I'll pass. In fact," he checked his watch, a smile breaking across his face, "I am going to head to the cafeteria and text Annie into submission." He cleared his throat. "I mean, I'll badger her until she gives in. I'll even buy her an undeserved cookie, it might make the crow she'll have to eat go down easier." Jeff looked up from his phone and grinned widely at Craig as he finished outlining his plan. "I'll see you later." He offered a short two-fingered wave and headed off, leaving Craig standing there, staring after him.

"So that plan backfired… Maybe it was too subtle? Yeah, probably too subtle." With one last longing sigh, the Dean leaned back to appreciate the fast fading view of Jeff Winger walking away in a tailored Armani suit.


	28. Latchkey Kids in Lit & Film

Prompt: "I would like to see Jeff and Annie's relationship/relationship status through the eyes of a child. It could be a child we've seen in the show (like one of Shirley's brood). It could be a future fic, and the child could belong to Jeff and Annie or another member of the group, etc."

* * *

It started on a Sunday as it so often did.

He dawdled by the edge of the lawn, savouring the taste of freedom and enjoying the bright summer sunshine. Knowing he would be scolded if he wasted much more time, he heaved a sigh and retrieved the mail. He glanced around longingly one last time and stopped in his tracks as a petite woman across the street caught his attention. She was pretty, the bright floral pattern she was sporting making her look cheery and friendly, as she performed the same task he did. She happened to look up as he stood there, watching her, and offered a smile and wave.

Mickey decided then and there to keep an eye out for her.

* * *

He spotted her again the very next day. Her front door opened as she approached it, a giant standing in the frame and blocking her entrance. The guy didn't look particularly scary and considering the gross way he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her soundly, he guessed they were married. Mickey made a face. It reminded him of his own parents, back in the days before his brother was born, always cuddling and whatnot.

Of course, that made him think. Place like this, couple like that… Where were the kids?

* * *

Mickey made his move on Thursday. The plan had been fermenting in his head since he'd first spotted the lady on Sunday – by Tuesday, it had firmed up in his mind, and by Wednesday, he had put it into effect. And today? It was to be his crowning glory, his big play.

Today, Mickey was going to march across the street and meet the elusive Mr. Winger and Ms. Edison, the young(-ish) couple that had just moved in across the street. Armed with a basketball and a plate of homemade cookies, he knocked on the door at 4:00, assured that at least one of them was home by the Lexus sitting in the driveway. His gaze drifted to the ground, foot pawing restlessly at the welcome mat with the butterfly on it, as he waited. He was taken by surprise when the door swung open to reveal a pair of jean-clad legs. He looked up to confirm his suspicions. Yep, that there was the giant he'd seen the day before.

"Mr. Winger?" The man nodded, a hint of a smile on his face. "I'm Mickey." Unsure what to do, he thrust the plate at him. Mr. Winger took it and Mickey realized it freed up his hand to do the polite thing. So he thrust his hand at him too.

"Uh, hi, Mickey. I'm Jeff." Mr. Winger took the plate, followed by the hand, and stood there silently for a second. "Is there something I can do for you?" Mickey contemplated the question before deciding that honesty was probably the best choice.

"Your wife is really pretty." The hint of a smile bloomed into a full one and Mickey noted that he looked much less intimidating now.

"She is." His accompanying nod was solemn.

"Do you have any kids?" Mr. Winger, Jeff, gave a slight shake of his head.

"Not yet. But…" He looked around. "If I tell you something, think you can keep a lid on it?" Mickey studied him suspiciously. He wasn't the sort that people usually confided in. Fact was, more often than not, people tried to keep things _from_ him. Still, a secret was too good to pass up so he nodded, hoping his eagerness was at least a little hidden. "We're going to have one pretty soon. Another six months or so." Mickey's eyes grew wide. That _was_ big news.

"Holy cow."

"Yep." Jeff seemed to be debating something but he must've come to some kind of conclusion because relaxed a minute later. "Now that you're in the know, maybe you want to come in and meet Annie? She'd probably want to meet the guy I let in on the secret. The place is a mess, but maybe we can share a cookie?"

"Really?" Jeff nodded again. "I have to ask my mom." He glanced over his shoulder at his house, debating how fast he could make it there and back. "I'll be back in five minutes." He shoved the basketball he was still holding into Jeff's arms. "Here. I'll run faster without it." He took off without another word.

* * *

As it happened, that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


	29. Marital Scams & Schemes 402

Prompt: Annie finds out that Jeff and Britta made a backup marriage pact.

A/N: This was one of the hardest prompts so far. I ended up rewriting it slightly (the ending) to get it under 500 words, so there are two versions.

* * *

He hadn't thought about it since he'd made the agreement. He doubted he would've remembered at all if he hadn't been rifling through a drawer full of old junk one day and found the crumpled paper, hasty words scrawled over it, outlining the results of one of their stupid fights. Jeff sighed as he unfolded it, a sense of distinct discomfort rising as he did so, and frowned as he read it over. It wasn't he considered iron-clad but it was a written contract all the same and, worse, it was with Britta. Jeff knew he'd feel guilty screwing over Britta because really, he'd already done that enough. 35 was on the horizon for him and the agreement would take effect in 3 years or so, when Britta hit the same age. He had a finite timeline.

So Jeff began to scheme.

* * *

**Scheme #1**

He cornered Troy and casually mentioned Britta. Over and over again. Mentioned how much she loved Abed (true), her awesome listening skills (not untrue), how modest and gracious she was (small fibs), how wonderful a long-term, monogamous partner she would be (so maybe he was stretching the truth as far as it would reasonably go). Jeff had thought he was subtle, given that Troy often required a jackhammer where anyone else need a gentle nudge.

Apparently, describing Britta in-detail was not the way to make Troy realize he was in love with Britta. It was, in fact, the way to make Troy think that _Jeff_ was in love with Britta.

On to the next plan.

* * *

**Scheme #2**

He enlisted Abed because there was no finer puppet-master in existence. At least, not when it came to their study group and Greendale. He concealed his motivations but revealed the bulk of plans and goals. Abed simply shook his head and Jeff described his prior failure with Troy.

"I've already run the scenarios, if that's going to happen, it'll have to happen on its own."

"You ran the scenarios." Abed nodded. "Why?"

"Because neither of them are happy now and Troy and Britta were happy together once." Jeff watched his friend closely, noting the subtle signs of irritation on Troy's behalf. "But the mission here is to make Britta happy, right?" Abed didn't wait for a response. "Then here's what we do: we track down Rick."

That plan failed pretty quickly too. Turned out, Subway knew how to bury their skeletons. When Jeff found mayo on a sub he hadn't ordered, he called it off.

* * *

He hadn't managed to get around to planning out scheme #3 when the group gathered for their annual Fourth of July barbecue but he figured he'd wing it because what was the point of his last name if he never used it for terrible puns?

Unfortunately, it all went to hell.

"Celebrating a 'free' country. Ha!" There was a round of groans. "Oh, please, do you know that our president uses drone attacks and-"

"Britta, it is a national holiday and we just want to have fun. Just for today, let it go." She huffed angrily but conceded that perhaps, just for today, she could put aside her moral outrage for Shirley's sake. "Thank you." It was because of her angry huffing, however, that she missed Shirley's gleefully mischievous grin. "Besides, aren't you the one who told me that you and Jeff made a pact to get married at 35 if you were both still single? Nut up and die alone! Ha! So much for being concerned with your freedom, hmm?"

The silence that reigned was epic.

"I'm dating someone!" It took him a minute before he realized the overly-loud declaration had come from Annie. Seven pairs of eyes focused on her and she squirmed slightly. "Yeah, I… Didn't want to mention it before but it's been a few weeks and, you know, with Jeff and Britta's news, I don't want them to think they'll break up the group again." One breath and she had managed to exhale an entire explanation that left Jeff frantic to correct her inaccurate assumptions.

"We're not getting married!"

"Hey!" He whirled on Britta.

"Have we ever talked about that stupid agreement since we made it?" She shook her head mutely. "Have we slept together since our second year at Greendale?" She responded in the negative again. "Have either of us indicated interest in a relationship with each other recently?" She opened her mouth as if to say something but seemed to think better of it and simply shook her head. "Exactly." He looked around, his gaze finally settling on Annie, and continued.

"I'm not… Opposed to marriage anymore but I'm not interested in getting married just for the sake of getting married. You guys are the ones that taught me that _who_ you're with matters more than not being alone."

He looked around the group, making eye contact with each of them, and relaxed as he saw smiles and nods.

"Did you just come out?"

* * *

**ALTERNATE (CONCISE) VERSION:**

He hadn't thought about the agreement since he'd made it. He doubted he would've remembered at all if he hadn't been rifling through a drawer full of junk one day and found the crumpled paper, hasty words scrawled over it, outlining the results of one of their stupid fights. It wasn't what he considered iron-clad but it was a written contract all the same and, worse, it was with Britta. 35 was on the horizon for him and the agreement would take effect in 3 years or so, when Britta hit the same age. He had a finite timeline to prevent this.

So Jeff began to scheme.

* * *

_Scheme #1_

Apparently, describing Britta in-detail was not the way to make Troy realize he was in love with Britta. It was, in fact, the way to make Troy think that _Jeff_ was in love with Britta.

* * *

_Scheme #2_

He enlisted Abed because there was no finer puppet-master in existence. He concealed his motivations but revealed the bulk of his plans and goals. Abed simply shook his head and Jeff described his prior failure with Troy.

"I've already run the scenarios, if that's going to happen, it'll have to happen on its own."

"You ran the scenarios." Abed nodded. "Why?"

"Because neither is happy now but Troy and Britta were happy _together_ once." Jeff watched his friend closely. "But the mission here is to make Britta happy, right?" Abed didn't wait for a response. "Then here's what we do: we track down Rick."

That plan failed pretty quickly too. Turned out, Subway knew how to bury their skeletons. When Jeff found mayo on a sub he hadn't ordered, he recognized the warning for what it was and called it off.

* * *

He hadn't managed to get around to planning out scheme #3 when the group gathered for their annual Fourth of July barbecue but he figured he'd wing it because what was the point of his last name if he never used it for terrible puns?

Unfortunately, it all went to hell.

"Celebrating a 'free' country. Ha!" There was a round of groans. "Oh, please, do you know that our president uses drone attacks and-"

"Not today!" Britta let out an offended squawk but fell silent at Shirley's threatening glare.

"Hmph." The group's attention drifted as conversation broke out. Troy, sitting beside Britta, nudged her arm gently and cleared his throat, a weird smile emerging.

"Hey, so, are you and Jeff a thing now? Because I talked to him and said it was okay with me." Troy's words were quiet but Britta's response was not.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

* * *

"So, we made an agreement-"

"An agreement? About what?" Jeff winced at Annie's question.

"Marrying at 35." Her reaction was… To not react.

"What happened to 'nut up and die alone'?"

"We were drunk, it was stupid and I've spent all week failing spectacularly at trying to stop it."

"Maybe you shouldn't have." Somehow, that was the worst response he could've imagined.


	30. Matrimonial Miscommunications 404

The prompt: **"Annie finds out that Jeff and Britta made a backup marriage pact."**

A/N: So this was actually written as my third attempt but I hadn't posted #2.

* * *

"He-" He looked around, wide-eyed, at the décor and flowers adorning the yard. "-ey… What's going on?"

"Oh, hey, Jeff! Good, you're dressed appropriately. Stand here, please." Abed hustled him over to an archway lit up with tiny lights and wound with garlands of bright flowers, then stepped back to take in the scene. "Yeah, that'll do it." He stared at Jeff, face set. "Stay."

"Wait, Abed, what's going on?" Instead of answering, Abed held up a hand for silence and moved away to check a camera, completely ignoring Jeff.

"Don't worry, Jeff, this is just a dress rehearsal." And then he was gone entirely.

* * *

"Right through here, walk slowly, measured steps. I like the fascinator."

"Really? Thanks, Annie helped me pick it out."

"It looks good, very authentic. I'll just be through there, Britta, just come out when you're ready."

* * *

"Abed!" Annie's whisper was quiet but urgent. "Abed!"

"Annie, the guest of honour is about to enter, custom dictates we be quiet." Her silent gasp of offence wasn't all that silent but Abed decided not to point that out.

"Abed, what are we doing here? This looks like a wedding!"

"It is."

"WHAT?"

* * *

"So let me get this straight." Jeff loosened his tie agitatedly then cracked his knuckles. "You lured me here based on the idea that we would be celebrating Annie's graduation but actually, you set up a dress rehearsal for a wedding between myself and Britta. Do I have that right?" Abed considered his words, head cocked, then nodded.

"I didn't really lure you here, though."

"Shut up, Abed." He took a deep breath, expelled it, then spoke again. "Why, Abed? Britta and I haven't… Been anything but friends for over two years."

"It's a good series' end, a certain symmetry. And I wanted wacky wedding hijinks. Seemed like a good opportunity. Besides, you and Britta agreed to get married if you were both single by 35. I figured this would be a good chance to practice before the real thing."

"WHAT?"

* * *

All the 'guests' had been sent home, leaving the group was gathered on the patio, appetizers and drinks spread out before them, in silence. It didn't feel like a comfortable silence and it made Abed itch.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone would be upset, the wedding wasn't real after all, and Jeff and Britta had made an agreement. But I feel like I disturbed the delicate balance of our group's social eco-system." Jeff gave a tired sigh and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Britta and I aren't interested in each other in a romantic way, Abed. We've been almost-fake married three times now and it's never worked out for a reason, okay? That agreement was made when we were drunk and, personally, feeling particularly shitty about the future."

"Gee, thanks, Jeff." An eye roll was the only response Britta received.

"So… Would it have been better if I'd had Annie as the bride?"

The dead silence that greeted him actually explained a lot.


	31. Marriage Contracts for Dimwits

The prompt: **"Annie finds out that Jeff and Britta made a backup marriage pact."**

**A/N:** So this was my second attempt at the prompt and I didn't end up posting it. I finished it and I'm not pleased with the ending but, ah well. Up it goes!

* * *

"Britta, your bag is gross!"

"Who asked for your help anyway, Judge Judy?"

"You did!" Annie's response included rolling her eyes and it made me Britta squint thoughtfully.

"Oh. I did. Sorry." She stared into the depths of her bag, attempting to clear out the last vestiges of dirt and crumpled papers. "What-" She dug out a scrunched up wrapper and handed it to Annie, "was I keeping all of this stuff for? Geez."

"Uh, Britta?" She hmmed mindlessly, still intent on rifling through the nooks and crannies of her purse. "You… You might want to keep this." She looked over at Annie, confusion apparent, to see her holding the previously scrunched wrapper between her thumb and forefinger.

"What? Does it have cooties?" She paused. "Wait, does it actually have cooties or, like, my STI test results on it?" Annie stared at her, completely still, and Britta stared back, unsure if moving meant an increase in awkwardness.

"No-o-o… It's… It's an agreement of a personal nature. Between you and Jeff." Britta's forehead wrinkled, unsure what Annie meant. "Here. Just take it, it's yours anyway. I'm going to… Go throw all of this stuff in the garbage." Annie picked up the plastic bag they'd been using as a makeshift garbage bin and left without a backward glance. Shrugging, Britta read over the note and groaned.

* * *

"Jeff!" There was no response from the man sitting at the bar. "Jeff!" Britta was sure now that he was ignoring her. "Winger!" Huffing in irritation, she marched up to him and punched him.

"Ow! Britta, what the hell?" Sorry, Marc, a friend of mine just surprised me. Yeah, that sounds great, we'll talk Monday. Okay, you have a goodnight too. Thanks, bye." He turned a baleful eye on her. "What is your problem?"

"I thought you were ignoring me!"

"How is that my fault?" She stared at him, no explanation springing to the forefront of her mind.

"Shut up. Here." She thrust the paper at him. "Annie found this while helping me clean out my bag." He took the paper from her gingerly.

"You needed help cleaning out your bag? It's a bag. Who needs help cleaning out a bag?" He smirked at her condescendingly. "Right, you do." She glared at him as he slowly read over the paper. She thought it was rather magnanimous of her that she didn't let any of her vindication show on her face as his paled beneath his summer tan.

"Yeah, bet you feel like an idiot now, huh?" Just because her facial expression was restrained, it didn't mean he didn't deserve some grief. He abruptly cleared his throat.

"So what if Annie saw this?" She raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him.

"Seriously, Jeff?" He shrugged lackadaisically but Britta didn't find it particularly convincing. "Okay, sure. In that case, my work here is done. I'll see you at the altar in," She checked the watch she wasn't wearing, "three years." She spun on her heel and left, lamenting that her awesome exit was being wasted on the likes of a sober and, this time, relatively inoffensive Jeff.

* * *

"So." Annie's smile was bright and her tone peppy as she fished around for conversation but it all rang a little too false to Britta. But maybe that was actually just the unbearable awkwardness that was colouring everything. "Have you talked to Marc?" The question was addressed to Jeff and Britta stayed silent despite her widened eyes as she recognized the name.

"I did, yeah. He was great. We met on Monday, and it… I'm feeling good about it." Annie's smile seemed a little more genuine now and Jeff's own grin was wide and sincere as he made eye contact with her. Britta drummed her fingers on her leg restlessly, feeling a little shut out, even if it was unintentional.

"Really? I'm so happy for you, Jeff!" He let out an amused huff of air at she bounced in her seat.

"Marc told me to thank you." She shook her head at his words, dismissing them. "He's right, though. Not many firms would take a chance on a lawyer like me. And he mentioned you might have a future in law too, given how convincing your arguments were and how charming your delivery." This time she blushed and Jeff's smile grew wider. Britta rolled her eyes at their not-so-subtle flirting.

It was probably a good time for them to confront the elephant in the room, now, while they were both relatively relaxed and had a professional on hand to help them work through the complicated feelings. Britta contemplated how to bring it up casually without looking like she was fishing. When she heard Jeff tell Annie that she should reconsider forensics for law, since third time was the charm, Britta decided to tactfully intervene.

"So, you two." Blank stares met her statement. Britta shifted uncomfortably. "What's going on there?" Jeff coughed roughly and Annie's eyes widened past what Britta would consider a healthy or attractive size.

"Um, Britta." She met the brunette's manic smile head-on. "What are you talking about?" The veiled message was really 'why are you bring it up, you fugly slut?' Britta ignored the subtext.

"You've been acting weird ever since you found that stupid agreement Jeff and I made, which is, by the way, totally non-binding, thank the goddess – I looked it up – and Jeff sat at the bar not drinking, just brooding and sulking and brooding, after I told him." Britta took in the wary and flustered expressions they sported and sighed.

"Look, I care about both of you, some more than others," Here, she paused to glare at Jeff. "But I do care. And you guys have pushed me to my breaking point." She stood up dramatically, her chair skidding back loudly. "So get together or quit being weird but do something about," she waved her hand between the two, "_this_ before it's too late." She spun on her heel and walked away, a smile spreading across her face. Sometimes, a real professional knew when to drop a truth-bomb and run like hell. Spotting Troy and Abed, she made her way toward them then ushered them to the bar. Tonight, Jeff would be covering their tab.


	32. Modern Applications of Ancient Latin 101

The prompt: **"in vino veritas"**

**A/N:** I am not horribly pleased by the ending but I didn't know _how_ to end it so I just sort of... Stuck a pin in it. Um. Sorry.

* * *

"You should go be with her." If she didn't know him better, she'd think there was no reaction to her words. But after four years and counting, she recognizes the tensed shoulders, catches the lightning-quick flash of surprise, hears the near-imperceptible way he swallows roughly and she can just imagine how his heartbeat stutters before finally settling into its rhythm once his mind processes. She stares at him silently, waiting, and he doesn't disappoint. Oh no, he actually _confirms_ her thoughts instead.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He throws in a gusty sigh as if that will throw her off the scent and she rolls her eyes. Because, yeah, _that's_ going to convince her.

"Annie." She refuses to let him play dumb tonight. She's drunk and that means there's no reason to pull her punches because she's not having this conversation as a professional psych student. She's having this conversation as a _friend_. Which means she's also allowed to be a little mean because, well, it's Jeff. "Duh doy." It seems like the 'duh doy' throws him because he just sort of slumps and, if Britta was forced to describe it, deflates.

"She's moved on." His gaze drifts past her to where Annie stands, watching Troy and Abed attempt to play pool. Britta watches the scene, heart tightening slightly as she takes in Troy's smiling face. It's his going away party tonight and she isn't quite as over him as she'd like to be, not yet. But the UK is about to have a new royal baby and they wanted a perfectly temperate castle to raise their child in. Normally, Britta would protest the kowtowing to rich people who serve as figureheads and retain power solely based on 'lineage' but she has a soft spot for Princess Di, so sue her. She shakes herself out of her internal ramblings and focuses on Jeff with a sigh.

"She's moved on because you haven't made a move at all, stupid." Jeff glares at her and Britta forces herself not to wilt. Her wit falters after four dirty martinis, okay? "Quit it. You know I'm right. Idiot." She mutters the last part under her breath but means it all the same.

"Shut up." He glowers at her. "You're stupid." He seems to realize that sounds immature because he averts his eyes and takes a long sip of his scotch to cover it. "I'm drunk."

"So am I. You should still go make a move on her. She's going to graduate soon. And then, because it's Annie, she's going to take over the world. Or help Abed do it." She waves her hand distractedly. "Whatever, it's all the same. But seriously, Jeff. Act like a fucking grown up." He stares at her hard despite his slightly unfocused eyes and Britta stares back as best she can when her mind is already wandering.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"You." He confirms.

"I'm over you, you over-sized clump of hairgel." His hand flies to his hair but he stays surprisingly calm. So he _is_ drunk, Britta marvels. Sober Jeff can't ignore knocks to his vanity.

"I meant, what about you? And Troy?" She wishes he'd left it alone but she's drunk and honesty is unfortunately easy when she's drunk.

"We had our chance. He's leaving in two days. What do you want me to do?" Jeff shrugs at her.

"I don't know. Blow him in the bathroom so he doesn't forget you?" Britta rolls her eyes because Jeff is not only a pig but also unoriginal.

"Do you remember every woman that's given you a bj in the bathroom?" He ponders the question seriously for a minute before he shakes his head no. "Then why would you think that would work?"

"Just seemed like it'd be a nice goodbye present." His eyes go glassy and Britta feels a second of guilt for foisting horny, gross Jeff on nice, kind Annie. Then she remembers that the little pipsqueak mentioned her bra size in front of Troy last week and it erases any guilt.

"Then you do it." Britta declines to tell him that she's been there, done that with Troy already anyway. "Besides, if he doesn't have better reasons to remember me, then it's not worth it." Jeff's eyes clear and he watches her shrewdly, or at least, shrewdly for a drunk dude.

"Then go say goodbye, with words, and tell him you love him anyway." She considers his suggestion. She's been trying to grow and have healthier relationships. Jeff doesn't seem like a good person to take advice from but she's drunk, what does she know?

"I'll do it if you do it." The words slip out before she can stop them but she finds she doesn't mind. If he chickens out, then he can't get mad at her for doing the same. Mutually assured destruction and all that.

"Okay." Jeff looks as surprised as she does when he agrees. They stare at each other, discomfited but unmoving, before turning back to the bar. Another scotch and dirty martini later, they head over to the pool table where Mario, Luigi and Princess Peach are still playing pool. The three look up when they approach and if Jeff was less drunk, he's certain he'd be even _more_ certain that Troy's face falls, just a little. The meaning behind which he is too drunk to parse out but he's sure it is indeed meaningful. Drunk or not, though, he knows Annie's every expression and she's watching Troy with a small, private smile. He'll ask her about it later.

"Want to play?" It's Abed asking and Jeff is about to respond when Annie cuts him off.

"I've been wanting to play for the last twenty minutes!"

"Troy and I were playing."

"I _know_ that, Abed. And I didn't mind waiting. But it's my turn, not Jeff's!" Abed stares at her, processing, his mouth opening and closing abruptly twice before he finally speaks.

"But you've never played before. Jeff has." He amends his statement after a second's pause. "Jeff is an excellent player, in fact." Annie growls at Abed and Jeff worries for his safety when it's just the two of them living alone.

"Jeff is drunk!" Jeff is a little offended by her accusation but it's actually quite true but he takes it as his cue to jump in anyway.

"I'll teach you, okay?" Annie seems a little mollified at his offer but it's Abed's eyebrows rising to his hairline that has Jeff flushing just a bit. He meets Abed's eyes and draws a finger across his throat while Annie's back is turned. Abed, thankfully, is wise enough to understand what that means.

"Why don't you guys play pairs?" Abed's question draws the attention of everyone in the group and Jeff shrugs. It's a pretty common ploy to 'teach' someone to play pool and feel them up instead so he doesn't really care who they play against because, as far as he's concerned, he's already won. Britta looks like she's going to bow out so he tries to kick her discretely. She lets out an 'ow' instead of a proper response while Troy agrees so, naturally, it's settled before she has time to object.

It's all the same to Jeff, really. If this all goes his way tonight, he'll get to 'teach' Annie his favourite game. By tomorrow night, they'll either fight or fuck, but come hell or high water, he'll have made his move.


End file.
